Nine Lives

CHAPTER ONE

I've always loved cats. Their soft purrs, head nudges, attitudes, even their clawing you down like a scratching pole. Yet, I find that them actually having nine lives seems highly unrealistic. Just another abnormal thought that I have. I always seem to have these random intrusive thoughts as I'm drifting off...

-

I awake to my mom clattering and clinking pans against the stove, an aroma of homemade soup filling the air. I don't even remember falling asleep, but the nap was well appreciated. I feel like it's been weeks since I got a proper amount of rest, it's been a stressful year so far. 

I hop out of bed and head down to the kitchen to steal a taste of the chicken noodle soup my mother makes frequently. It's a family favorite and I swear we all crave it at least once a week. 

"Wow, Del, 5 o'clock! I'm real proud of you for waking up so early," she starts sarcastically as I spoon the soup into my mouth. 

"Ha ha. I've just been tired," I reply, pulling a stool out from the island to have a seat.

"You know, we can get you into see someone. I think it'd help with everything going on," she presses the idea once again.

"Nope, I'm good." But I know she's right.

After Conner and I broke up, it was like an entire chunk of me just drifted away. I'm not one of those people that heavily relies on others, if anything, I'm the opposite. Strong-willed and independent. Yet, losing someone you had been close with since infancy can really take its toll. Especially in the way that it had happened. 

"I really think you should give it a chance, babe. Maybe your sleep would be back to normal and you wouldn't be missing so much school," she continues.

"Please don't. You know I don't like thinking of it, let alone speaking of it, too." I say back, nearly bringing myself to tears.

"Okay, okay. I'll stop pressing it onto you. But if you decide you might be interested," she grabs a napkin and scribbles some numbers down, "here's Alena's number. That way you don't have to tell me and neither does she." 

I grab the napkin from her hand, wadding it up and pushing it into my pocket. I motion back over to the pot and glance back at my mom, silently asking if it's ready. With a slight nod, I grab a bowl, fill it up, and head back to my room.

Dr. Alena is one of my moms colleagues, a psychologist. They met in grad school and have been near inseparable since. I already know if I find my way there, the moment I leave I'll be the talk of the office. Not that I don't love everyone there and visit frequently, but if I go for a therapy session, everyone will know and bombard me with questions. 

I eat my soup relatively quick and set the bowl on my lovely pile of dishes next to the bed. I'll get to cleaning it eventually, I remind myself. I probably won't, and I know that, but it's nice to have some motivation. 

-

By 9 P.M. I haven't done much else besides watch Bob's Burgers and play around on my phone. It's honestly not like I have anything else to do anyways. Deciding to shower, I grab new sweats, underwear, socks, and a t-shirt and make my way to my bathroom.

Sitting on the shower floor, I begin to think of my life and how it's nothing like how I want it to be. I never imagined I'd be depressed, crying on the floor of the shower over a boy. Granted, Conner wasn't the root of my depression, but he definitely contributed to its worsening. I think about what happened between us constantly, and it tears me apart. 

It's times like this that I think about taking my mom up on the offer she gives every time I see her. Yet I can't bring myself to do it until I know I'll make it through a session without sounding like I'm insane. Conner really ruined me down to the core, and I don't know if I'll ever live the same.

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Hi! I know this chapter probably doesnt make sense in relation to the title/description, but it'll get there I promise! Thanks for reading! I hope you'll stay along for the rest of the story! :)

- JK