2006 was my fourth year of teaching English as a Second Language in
South Korea – on a gorgeous, subtropical, volcanic island off the
south shore of the mainland. It was also the year I went bananas. I
started to feel like I was being watched as I stood teaching in the
classroom. Watched by whom? My imagination filled in the blank: by
angels, by aliens, by superheroes, by reality tv people, by the
military... gradually these delusions grew more convincing. Then, one
fine day during the winter break, as I was driving to the beach, I
heard a voice in my head. What did it say? She (very clearly a she)
said, "Let's see what his thing will be." My what? My superpower? Not
exactly... I decided then and there that I was being inducted into
some sort of secret society of do-gooders, and it was time to select
the cause I would champion. And noticing that the beach I was just
arriving at was strewn with pollution, I decided that my special cause
would be cleaning up the oceans. How I would do that remained to be
seen. From that day on I had voices more and more frequently.
Different voices. Sometimes playing into my do-gooder delusions,
sometimes not. Occasionally they were threatening and abusive. I knew
I couldn't teach anymore. Anyway I had to devote my energies to saving
the oceans! Um, eventually I got professional help. And I feel muuuch
better now. True story. Finis.
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