𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝔻𝕒𝕣𝕜𝕟𝕖𝕤𝕤 𝕋𝕙𝕒𝕥 ℂ𝕠𝕟𝕤𝕦𝕞𝕖𝕤 𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕃𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 ➀

34 LOSS

A/N:

This song is one of my favorite EDEN songs of all time. It's like it was made for this chapter. Also, it's trigger warning time again, read with caution.

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We've cleaned out my shit show of an apartment leaving me kind of fucking disgusted with myself. I'm not going to lie, between the drug paraphernalia, empty liquor bottles, and yes, the random used undisposed of condoms, I thought Monica was going to change her mind about me moving in. I really thought Monica was going to call the entire relationship off.

To my surprise she didn't say a thing when we threw away all of my disgusting habits. Luckily I was the one to find the old condoms because I'm not sure what Monica's reaction would have been to that. Semen left in a condom after that many months was an unsavory sight to say the least.

I got rid of about ninety-percent of all my things. The only things I kept were my clothing and shoes. Everything else Monica and I donated because what's the point of having two sets of everything anyway? It was actually an invigorating experience being able to trash my shit-show of a life that I'd had before Monica.  

I'm going to try to be better when it comes to my fucking reckless habits. Once I had gotten sober and realized what a dumb fuck I'd been for almost running away from the one good thing in my life I promised Monica that I'd quit. I would quit my drug usage and I would try to get better with my alcohol consumption.

Now, this is all easier said than done and I'm lucky that Monica understands that. She told me if I slipped she'd be there to pick me up so I wouldn't completely fall back into my use. I explained to her what the fuck was going in my head, about all the pressure I was feeling and changing everything about myself just to end up still not being good enough for her. All those what-ifs that were slowly eating away at me. I was shit at communication but, as usual, Monica helped me with things no one else could.

"I think that's the last of it, babe." Monica says after she turns off the vacuum. 

"Yeah, I think it is." I tie the trash bag in my hand. "I can't believe we're moving in together."

"Sean McCaslin is moving in with his giiiirlfrieeeend." She emphasizes the last word while giving me a goofy grin.

"I think hell has officially frozen over." I smile back at her as she continues to chuckle to herself. 

Monica finishes winding the cord onto the vacuum. "I think we need to throw this thing out. The entire time I used it the damn thing was smoking."

Obviously having a quality vacuum wasn't really a concern of mine before. "Probably a good idea, who knows the shit that thing has inside it now anyway." I pick up the vacuum and the trash bag as I say, "I'll go throw this out, you want to lock up and I'll meet you back in our apartment?"

"Sounds good." Monica wraps her arms around my neck, gets up on her tip toes and plants a kiss on my lips. "Hurry back, babe. I think we need to shower because we've been getting so dirty." She wriggles her eyebrows at me.

"So what you're really saying is you want me to fuck you until you can't walk anymore?"

"That is exactly what I'm saying." She pecks my lips one last time. "Now go throw all that shit away and get back up here."

"You got it, sweetheart."

She opens the door for me and swats my ass as I head out. I chuckle to myself as I make my way down the hallway thinking about all of the things I'm going to do to her once I get back upstairs.