Going Nowhere Fast

12. Blood

I woke up a bit confused as to where I was at first. Then all of the sudden the intense memories of last night came rushing back into my head. I looked over at Billie. He was completely on the edge of the bed on his side. Part of me wondered if we would wake up cuddling like how they do in the movies, but it ended up being the complete opposite. Billie was much more complicated than I originally anticipated.

I leaned across the bed to tap his shoulder which was a mistake because the second I touched him, his body spazzed and he rolled off the bed.

"Ow," I couldn't help but laugh a little but then I remembered his wrist. I jumped up and ran to his side of the room where he was on the floor kind of laughing.

"Seems like I'm a rough start to my day already," he said while laughing. His big, puppy-dog eyes gleamed up at me, but then he looked over at his wrist and his expression changed to what I could only make out to be pain. "I'm so sorry about last night. I never wanted you to see me like that."

"Can I check on it?"

He looked apprehensive at first but eventually reached his hand out to me. I sat on the ground beside him and unwrapped the maxi pad. It seemed to be scabbing. "You're in luck," I said, "also shout out to me for this hilarious solution."

He started to laugh. "Yeah, I'm not as resourceful. I probably would've bled out if you were a dude."

I laughed a little bit to his light-hearted response but the seriousness of the situation bothered me. What if he didn't unlock the bathroom door? What if I didn't have a spare pad on me? We would've had to go to the hospital and this crazy adventure would've been over or he would've died. I wondered if these near-death experiences were common for him.

"C'mon, lets go get breakfast and do something with our day."

"Our day," Billie repeated to himself softly. He looked back at me wondering if heard him. I quickly looked away.

--

We decided to spend our day in Stanley Park. I figured Billie wouldn't want to be around too many people given everything that had happened. It was a long walk but not too bad. The park was beautiful and filled with pine trees. Billie was having fun posing with the totem poles, and I was taking pictures with the camera that I bought with me.

We decided to settle next to one of the cliffs overlooking the sea and eat the rest of the massive lunches aunt Rose had packed for us. It was a really sunny day and it was getting hot out. I decided to take off my cardigan, leaving me in just my blue T-shirt and overalls. Billie looked like he was getting hot too, but he wouldn't take off his sweatshirt.

"You can take that off, you know. There's nothing to hide anymore." I looked at him and gave him a slight smile.

Billie looked around making sure no one else was there. He slowly removed his black hoodie leaving him in just his T-shirt and jeans. I noticed his other arm. It actually seemed worse than the one I bandaged last night. I wondered if they were all over his body but I didn't want to pry. Billie glanced over at me with a worried expression on his face.

"Don't worry," I said, "I'm not judging you."

"Yeah," was all he managed to reply.

"I do wish you would talk to me though. I think you could use someone to talk to about whatever."

Billie looked out into the sea for a moment and then turned to me with a smirk on his face. "What's your middle name?"

"What?"

"You heard me," he scoffed, "What's your middle name?"

"Rose," I said figuring he would get the connection.

"That's suiting," he said with a smile.

"What's yours?" I retaliated.

"Promise not to laugh?"

"I can't promise anything," I replied teasingly.

"Joel. My name is fucking Billie Joel Stephens, and I fucking hate my mom."

I almost spit out my food laughing at that. "No fucking way!" I rolled onto the ground laughing and he fell on his back too.

For a moment we just laid there, laughing and looking at the clouds.

"That one kind of looks like a duck," he said pointing up at the sky.

"Don't they always look like ducks?" I asked as I turned my head towards him.

"Yeah, usually. Clouds aren't very imaginative."

I started laughing. "Yeah they would probably fail if they ever had to take creative writing."

Billie started laughing too, "Yeah, dude, clouds are nerds. They're more STEM career oriented if anything."

"Ain't that the truth."

"I wonder if clouds are good at stoichiometry," Billie said staring at the sky.

"What?" I asked still laughing.

He smiled, "Never mind. Now I'm being the nerd."

"I'm really happy you didn't die last night," I blurted out.

Billie's face became expressionless. Then it turned to sadness as he sat back up and looked out into the sea.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring it up, but I really do feel that way," I said trying to plead with him. The last thing I wanted was for him to be upset with me again.

"No, I should probably just tell you the truth."

--

I sat back up next him so he wouldn't have to speak too loudly. He seemed very hesitant I wasn't sure what was about to come out of his mouth.

"I dated Brian for a month last year."

Oh. That was not what I was expecting to hear but I wasn't about to interrupt him. He was finally opening up.

"With his dad being the pastor, he didn't want anyone to find out he was gay."

"Are you gay?" I blurted out.

"Kind of, I'm pansexual so gender is kind of irrelevant to me."

"Oh, okay, sorry go on," I couldn't believe how open he was being.

"So anyway, I wasn't the one who initiated it. Brian used to pick on me whenever I would show up with my mom to church. He would corner me in the bathroom of the church and beat me when no one else was around."

"Oh my God!" I interrupted, "Sorry, continue."

"One day after he punched me in face,"

"Why did you keep going back?" I interrupted again.

"He said that if I didn't, he would tell my mom I was a faggot. But anyway, after he punched me he leaned in and started making out with me." That last sentence made my stomach hurt.

"So, then what?"

"Then.. I don't know. He started to cry and I told him it was okay. I sat in the handicap stall with him for a half hour while he was crying on my shoulder. I felt really bad for him. He told me that he really liked me and that's why he would beat on me, because he wanted to be closer. It was dumb and stuff, I know that, but I agreed to see him in secret. That church was very homophobic and it all stemmed from his father's anti-gay sermons. It must've been rough for him having to hide something like that."

I couldn't believe how naïve Billie was, feeling bad for his abuser and agreeing to date him. The kid had a heart of gold on him, but it made me sick to my stomach how much people like that get taken advantage of.

"Is that why you don't like to talk about it?"

He looked me in the eyes. There were tears in his again. "No," he said barely audible.

I didn't want to pry, something way worse must've happened given the stream of tears going down his cheeks.

I tried to put my arm around him but he stiffened immediately after screaming, "Don't touch me!"

He got up and ran off into the woods. What just happened?