Grieving Hearts [Completed]

58- Prove it.

Onika's POV...

I stared at Agustin's pale figure laying on the hospital bed, IV line attached to his wrist, his eyes closed, a small frown on his forehead. Even with his eyes closed he looked troubled. I took few calming breaths to remind myself that he is fine now. I have been sitting beside his bed since past five hours now, and he haven't moved a muscle.

He is looking so lifeless at the moment....my heart cringed at the thought. I think this is why Jacob didn't take me with him, he already knew how it's going to be. Thank God Jacob reached there on time, if not for him... I don't even want to think about it.

I have never wanted something so desperately as I want for him to open his hazel eyes and look back at me. I brought my hand to his cheek, tracing a large bruise at the side of his cheek with my finger ever so lightly. He didn't flinch, didn't moan in pain, nothing.

I know I should have been the one to tell Agustin the truth, I was wrong to think that I can hide it from him for forever. Initially I used to blame him for everything that happened, maybe he is to be blamed...maybe not, I don't know anything anymore, though I know one thing, nothing will ever be same again.

With my child gone, nothing will ever be fine between me and Agustin, no matter how much I want to move forward, a part of me will always blame Agustin for what happened.

I know he didn't know that I was pregnant back then, otherwise he might have not done what he did, but every time I think about my baby all I can think about is, how I used to starve for days, being beaten near to unconsciousness, laying on the cold floor, with me, it was my baby as well who was dying with me every day bit by bit, it was not just me, the baby was always there inside of me, surfing with me, and I couldn't protect her,

I failed her and so did Agustin, and there is no repentance for that, there can only be immeasurable amount of guilt...which will never be enough.

I couldn't explain how it felt to know that you had a miscarriage the same day you came to know that you were pregnant, I will prefer to die a thousand times then witness something like that ever again, it was just in that small moment that I had know that there was a baby inside of me....and then she was gone, bead infront of my eyes. And I couldn't do a thing. Sometimes I feel like I am actually cursed and...Agustin is the curse.

Whenever I recall that day it sends shivers of anguish and pain through my spine, I could never get the sight of my dead baby out of my mind, no matter how much time passes, I will never be able to move forward, a part of my soul will always be trapped in that dreadful moment. I could never set it free again, never. Nothing Agustin can ever do will change that. Nothing I can ever do will change that.

Though that doesn't mean I want to see Agustin dead. I have lost count how many times I have prayed to God to punish Agustin in the worst way possible, at times going as far as wanting to see him dead, but I never thought it would be this painful seeing him lying unconscious infront of me, maybe it would have been easier if he was still the same unfeeling bastard, and not the one who is grieving like this, grieving for what he had done, grieving at the loss of my baby, our baby.

I was shook out of my chain of thoughts as I felt someone's hand on my shoulder, I turned back to see Jacob staring back at me, his eyes finding mine and softening a bit.

He forwarded a glass of juice towards me, before I can open my mouth to argue, he narrowed his eyes in warning.

"he is fine Onika, your continuous stares isn't going to wake him up any earlier, he is under effect of medicine."

I sighed in defeat and took the glass from him. He brought another chair and sat beside me. "You can go and freshen up, I will be here with Agustin, if there is any progress I will call you right away."