Ice, Ice, Babies!

Birthday and...a Baby?

I put on my crop top and shorts, then loaded myself up with sunscreen. Now, I was ready to enjoy this fine, warm day. It was also one of the best days of the year, because not only was it Cinco De Mayo, it was also my birthday! Something about the Mosley family made us prone to holiday birthdays.

My dad was born on the Fourth of July, my sisters' late-November birthday sometimes fell on Thanksgiving, my mom was of course, Saint Patrick's Day, and as she'd say for me, I was "Cinco de Lynn" Day. I couldn't wait until I was finally twenty-one so I could enjoy the many unlimited, legal drinks.

This year I'd just be settling for a party with friends and a dinner with Trevor beforehand. I'd see my family tomorrow, since it would be a Saturday. I always hated myself for picking a class that ended at 6pm on a Friday. What was I thinking?

It was noon and I was finally heading out of my room. I was cramming for finals week, which would start on Monday. My grades this semester were trash, since in the beginning of the semester when my mom was dying and in the few weeks following, I literally didn't show up to any classes or do any of my assignments. Hospice and funeral arrangements took up all of my time.

So I not only needed to pass my finals, I needed to do extremely well to not mess up my grades anymore, especially on the ones that were worth twenty percent of my entire grade. If I didn't get an A on all these finals, I'd definitely be failing, and then repeating, some of my classes.

But today, we weren't worrying about that. Today, I was gonna get up, go to class, enjoy some lunch by the river, see my friends, and see my boyfriend. First though, I had to stop and throw up before hitting the dining hall. Again. The campus health center gave me some nausea medication to take along with my Xanax that I'd been taking since January, but it wasn't doing the trick.

The nausea was probably from the anxiety of what was riding on these finals. It has to be...right? Right. Time for class.

I breezed through the day and the nausea really just didn't let up. All I wanted was to enjoy my birthday, but why would I? My whole life felt like it was already shit without my mom, so why not just ruin my twentieth birthday even more?

I took a nap after class, felt better, and texted Trevor about what was going on. He was always so understanding.

"I dunno...it could be more than stress?" Bethy said, sitting on her bed and waving around the pregnancy test she bought as "a joke" a couple days ago. "This is here if you need it."

"No way. I can't be."

"You never know."

"Bethy. I can't. I can't take one of those. Not right now. I...listen, you're great but I just need Trevor."

"So take it with you," she said, handing it to me.

I rolled my eyes and put the test in my purse, loaded up my Stanley cup with more ginger ale, and went out the door to meet Trevor, who was in the main parking lot across campus.

"Hey hey, pretty lay-day," he said, giving me a kiss. "Happy birthday! You ready to party?"

"If this nausea holds off," I said.

"I think you just ate something bad in the dining all. You can't trust all that stuff they serve you in there," he said, pulling out of the parking lot.

We took a ten-minute ride off campus to my new, favorite local restaurant: Seniorita's. They had the best burritos I'd ever had.

We sat down and ordered a bunch of chips with guacamole and salsa. After that I ordered a burrito with all my favorite toppings, ate half of it, and then ran across that restaurant to the bathroom to throw it all up. As an added bonus, I now had a headache because the live mariachi band was playing extra loudly tonight.

Shit? What if I really am pregnant?

"Lynn? Are you okay?" I heard outside the bathroom door.

I wiped off my mouth, opened the bathroom stall, washed my hands (obviously), and went back outside to Trevor. I looked into those eyes of his that I loved so much.

"Can we just leave?" I asked.

"I already told them to bring the check so we can head out," he said.

We went back to campus and I brought him back to my room, since I knew Bethy would be at the library for the weekly Pride club meeting. Trevor sat in our beanbag chair while I laid down on my bed.

"Bethy jokes around because she thinks I'm pregnant," I said.

Trevor let out a nervous laugh. "I'm just gonna hope not. Have you taken a test?"

I reached over to my purse and took out the one Bethy gave me earlier.

"I was hoping you'd stay here with me when I did."

"Don't worry babe. It'll be negative and we'll have nothing to worry about," he said, giving me another one of his winning smiles.

He helped me off the bed and I went into our gross bathroom. In the sophomore dorm, you were upgraded from a bathroom down the hall to a Jack-and-Jill style bathroom, which we shared with the two girls next door. Both of which were complete slobs.

If there was stuff all over the shower floor, the cleaning crew couldn't scrub the shower. Those girls also literally never washer their towels and they smelled all moldy and gross. I could go on and on about how messy that bathroom was, but that wasn't what I was here to do. I was here to pee on a stick and find out if my life was more over than it already was.

I read the instructions, did my thing, and came out of the bathroom, placing my pregnancy test on the sink. Trevor came over and hugged me from behind, looking down at the test as I cleaned my hands off.

I could see in the mirror that his face was a mixture of confusion. I peeked over at it as I dried my hands on Bethy's froggy hand towel. It had barely been a minute and the test already had a plus sign on it.

"So...the plus sign is good, right?" he asked. "Like, positive-ly not pregnant, right? Please tell me that's what's going on."

I shook my head and ran into his arms. In the span of a couple months, my life was getting worse day by day. First my mom, then possibly failing my classes, and now I was pregnant? Every time I told myself things couldn't get any worse, they somehow did. Oh no. I probably just jinxed myself again...