Libby's Forums & Updates

26-Feb-2021 | Tired

'Ello ello,

Some days are harder than others. 

It's a known fact about life, that some days are going to hit you harder than most. That some months are hard, that you'll recall memories or people, events and periods in your life that just make you stop and ponder. 

Stopping... there's nothing wrong with stopping, depending on what you are stopping. Stopping's often paired with giving up, but I don't believe they go hand in hand. Context is a huge part of these little tid-bit quotes that I keep seeing on social media. 

Anyone else have these too? Tweets that start with 'I don't know who needs to hear this...' or people putting on Instagram things like, 'Life is a rollercoaster and you're on the slow incline; the thrill is just around the corner' or whatever, things like that. 

I...hate those things. I'm sorry, I do, I immediately scroll past. 

I just don't like being told what to do, honestly! I'm smiling at that, because I'm remembering when people have been like, 'You can't do this', and I've gone... I'm doing it. If I'm challenged to do something, I'm not doing it. I'm a little spiteful, it's a trait from my youth which I can't shake, but honestly I kind of enjoy it. 

I'm stubborn as a mule - but it means that when I'm tired, I'm exhausted, and I just need to stop for a while? When life is telling me to give up I'm giving it the finger and taking a breather before continuing on. 

Stopping isn't a permanent thing. Giving up, however, is, but there are days when the lines are blurred between the two.

Battling chronic pain and a tonne of other medical complications means that being tired is a large aspect of my life. I'm fatigued all the time, my body is exhausted and yet numb with acute agony, but then I'll see those freaking comments and quotes telling me that I'm okay and I'm worthy and all this rubbish. 

I'm know I'm okay. I know I'm worthy, that I'll be fine, all of that. I don't need a random quote to tell me that - because I've worked hard to prove it already. Quotes don't work unless you do, and I've done all that work, and now it's just people trying to tell me what to do when they don't understand what it is I've already done. 

This is a weird rant. 

But does this make any sense? Quotes don't work unless you do. Inspiration isn't going to magically spawn in the mirror one morning, you have to go after it. Creativity is a muscle that takes time to build. Confidence is a long mountainous climb where you're trying to tune out the howling wind of society. 

It's a fight. It's a storm we have to weather, our own battles, and some days are harder than others. Some days the social wind has an icy bite and chills your bones and it means you take shelter on the mountain and rest. Some days the creative muscle is overworked and strains, and you have to take some time to recover. Some days your inspiration clouds your mirror and you can't see anything positive, uplifting, until it clears. 

Being tired...it's not a bad thing. Stopping for a while isn't a bad thing. 

It's just another hurdle. 

Resting, recovering, and continuing on when your focus is clearer, isn't a bad thing at all. It means you succeeded, you won against the bad days, and you can keep going.

And you don't need any fancy quote to tell you that. 

You're proof that you can. 

~

Can you tell I've had a harder day? It's okay to have them. I'll be okay, I'm weathering out my storm, but I'm treating myself to a special edition book (because that's always a great medicine) and cuppa tea. 

A new SIREN BAY update is coming soon, I'm working on the last few paragraphs of it now. I hope you enjoy - and I wonder if this little post was helpful in anyway to one of you? Maybe, maybe not, but I feel a little better at least. 

With love, 

Libby x