Forever Young

Chapter 11

A shiver made its way down my spine as I took several deep breaths, making sure that the memories of my Mother were buried deep. It wasn't often that this happened. Usually I was good at only paying attention to the things that I wanted to, but every once in a while, a small word or landscape would send an unwelcome memory to the forefront of my mind, forcing me to shove it back down.

Some things I just couldn't handle, no matter how strong I wanted to feel.

Forgetting that I was supposed to be uncomfortable with Takoda seeing my stuffed lamb, I pulled it out from under the pillow, clutching it to my chest. It was very cuddly, but wasn't a real person who I had to worry about attacking me when I went to touch them. That made it extra comforting.

"What's her name?" Takoda asked.

"What?"

"Or he. If it's a he. Looks like a she to me, though. But my dinosaur is named Nugget. Nessie's rabbit is Pookie. What's your lamb's name?"

It seemed like a weird question on the surface. Why would a stuffed lamb need a name? Just like me, it didn't need one when it didn't have peers. I would never have to call out to it, or get its attention, so what purpose would a name serve? If I wanted it, I would just go to the spot that I left it and pick it up.

But Takoda's dinosaur had a name. So did Renesmee's rabbit. And she had gone through her shelf of stuffed animals, telling me all of their names. And after Bella had left a basket of new stuffed animals in the room for Nessie and I, Renesmee had gone through and named all of those ones, too.

Clearly, somehow... I was the one who was wrong.

"Um... I'm not sure," I hedged. Usually it was just referred to as 'my lamb.' 

Takoda put a hand out, and I hesitantly handed the stuffed lamb over. He looked it up and down, seeming to weight it in his hand as he squeezed it a few times. As soon as he handed it back, I pulled the lamb close to my chest, squeezing it. Something about squeezing a soft, warm object calmed me.

After a few seconds of though, Takoda grinned. "What about Cuddles?"

A giggle accidently escaped me. "Cuddles?" I asked, looking down at the lamb. "Is that even a name?"

"Sure," he said. "Stuffed animal names are different than human names. My cousin, Claire- she named her stuffed wolf called  'Kitty'."

Even for a stuffed animal, that seemed strange. But I sort of did like the name Cuddles. It was what I did with the stuffed toy, after all, so it was easy to remember. And yes, it was a little embarrassing, but it wasn't like everyone had to know. Maybe just me, Nessie and Takoda. Nessie wouldn't make fun of me for it, I was sure, and Takoda had been the one to come up with it to begin with.

With a nod, I smiled first at Cuddles, then glanced up at Takoda. He was beaming, seeming a little too proud that he had been the one to come up with the name I chose.

"I was going to say Commander Lamb-Lamb, or Professor Bleeper," He confessed, sprawling across my bed. "But I thought you would like 'Cuddles' better."

I laughed at the other names that he had been considering. Once again, he smiled widely, happy to have made me laugh. "I'll get you a stuffed lamb for your birthday," I told him, jokingly. "You can make him a Professor or Commander."

I hadn't been serious when I said it, but seeing the excitement on his face when I promised to gift him something made me realize that I probably actually needed to acquire another stuffed lamb.  Soon, too, because he told me that his birthday was coming up in less than a week.

Had I just been invited to a birthday party? Even though I didn't know if I would be allowed to go, or even what really happened at a birthday party, the invitation alone was exciting. Somebody actually liked me enough to invite me to their party. He wanted me there, and he assured me that he wouldn't invite anybody who wasn't connected to the Cullens or his pack. That way, even if it was sunny and a low sparkle was shining from my skin, I could still feel safe.