I Don't Deserve Your Forgiveness ~A Countryhuman Story~

I Hate You, I Love You

~Months Later~

Philia's pov:

Spain has finally and successfully colonized my land and forced me to adapt to his culture.

He taught me how to be Catholic and made houses and villages throughout the months. He is so annoying and whenever I disagree with something he plans on doing he would force me the worst ways possible, it would either be hurting me physically or emotionally, sometimes both.

But yet again what can I do? His country is way more powerful than mine, But I have to admit... He did help my country become civilized.

I was reading a book in the Mansion's library, a book that Spain gave me and it teaches me how to speak Español, yup one of the cultures he forces me to learn.

The reason why I'm reading this stupid book is because I have nothing else to do... Spain would never let me out of the Mansion, I tried arguing with him that once in a while I needed fresh air, so he made my room like a mini garden... It's not that bad but, ugh that's not what I meant when I said "Fresh Air", I'm still literally stuck inside.

After reading the book I set it down on the table and walked out of the library, there were so many doors, hallways, twists, and turns in this mansion and I always try memorizing them. I stopped walking when I reached the door to my room, it had a design of vines with thorns with red roses everywhere.

I went inside my room and closes the door behind me. *Sigh*
"Papa? Kuya? Can you here me up there?.... I miss you guys so much, there's not a day that goes by that I don't think of you... I know you told me before that, Someone who can't sacrifice anything, can't make a change... I don't understand, I sacrificed most of our traditions to the Spaniard but it didn't make a change for the villagers and I at all... Please I still need you, I'm clueless, helpless, and vulnerable without you."

A tear fell down from my eye as I sobbed quietly and prayed to God that things would get better someday. And as all of the thoughts were rushing through my head I said to myself, "I hate you Spain! If it weren't for you my family would still be alive! I HATE YOU...."

Spain's pov:

I was walking through the newly paved streets my workers made.

Goodness, Father was right this is some rich land for natural resources, it has only been 8 months and our trade prices doubled thanks to this land.

Though everything is going great I'm kind of worried about my senorita, Filipinas... She hasn't been so active the past few months, all she does is she would go down to eat, go to the library, walk and explore the mansion a bit, then lock herself in her room for the rest of the day.

*Sigh*

"Your Highness? Is there a problem?" I looked up to see my servant Juan, looking at me worried. "N-no... I-I mean yes-... I Mean-!"

*Sigh*
"It's just that the leader of this land had been very dismissive lately and I can't help but feel worried..." Juan just looked straight ahead but was wearing a grin on his face. "Oh? Do you mean the girl who's exactly your age sire?" I looked down embarrassed and murmured. "Yes it's her." He grinned again, wider this time. "So your Highness, are you saying that you've grown more attached to this girl than all the other royal suitors your Father introduced to you?"

I blushed madly knowing where Juan is going but I can already tell he knows. "Maybe...." I answered slowly.

"I knew it~" Juan said teasingly. "Hey enough! Everybody's gonna hear you!" I immediately covered his mouth while he started humming a romantic song I knew.

When we reached one point of the new village I was constructing Juan then spoke. "So when are you gonna tell your, Senorita?" I smiled to myself like an idiotic lovesick fool. "Well you know that door in the Mansion that is always locked?.... I'm actually constructing a huge Garden just for her, knowing she loves flowers, butterflies, and trees."

Juan gave me a sincere nod and smiled. "You really are into her huh?" And without thinking I mindlessly sighed and said. "Of course... She's beautiful, smart, and kind to others, she's just so perfe-" I immediately covered my mouth and looked over to see Juan giving me a teasing look.

"My, my Sire, usually you're strict and stoic.... Did that girl really set your heart on fire?" I ignored him but what he said was annoyingly right, Philia did put a flame in my heart.

Te amo Philia, I love you so much...

No one's pov:

As Spain made it back to the Mansion he hung up his coat and went to take a shower. Juan on the other hand went to make dinner for his master and his senorita.

~Timeskip~

After Spain's shower he went through some papers about organizing the newly colonized country and finished it in about an hour or two. "Phew! That was tiring!" Spain said exhausted. He then decided to check on Philia.

Once he finally arrived at her door he twisted the knob and pushed it open he peeked inside just to see a sleeping Philia on the bed. When he saw her sleeping he opened the door wider and tiptoed inside her room, he walked over to the side of her bed to see her sleeping face covered by her bangs, Spain brushed the bangs off her beautiful face just to see dried tear marks.

His eyes widened at the sight, he didn't want to see her crying. Philia then mumbled something loud enough for Spain to hear. "Papa, Kuya Del... Please I still need you..." Spain's heart broke.

So that's why she's crying? Because she misses her family... What have I done? I've hurt her so much... Spain thought to himself. After he gained his composure again he leaned in and kissed her forehead.

"I'm so very sorry Philia I hurt you, what I did was unforgivable, I promise I will make it up to you and hopefully make you mine."

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1053 words
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