Hazbin Hotel Oneshots

thanksgiving

"try thanksgiving," charlie said. "it'll be fun," charlie said.
this is gonna play out like an episode of the office where its like a bunch of fragments of things that happened
its 2 days late but uhhh enjoy it anyway

"how's the cooking going?" charlie smiled, walking into the kitchen.

...everyone was screaming.

niffty was frantically pressing buttons on the oven, vaggie was shouting profanities at everybody, husk was screaming monotonously and drinking booze while sitting on the counter, and angel was throwing things at people while alastor was trying to restrain him.

"YOU COCKSUCKERS, YOU ARE ALL STUPID SLUTS, ANGEL IF YOU THROW ONE MORE HANDFUL OF SWEET POTATOES AT ME-" splat.

"THAT'S FUCKING IT!" vaggie picked up an entire bowl of macaroni and cheese and threw a handful at angel.

"SO YOU WANNA PLAY LIKE THAT?" angel picked up the cranberry sauce.

"...ill come back later." charlie said nervously.

•••

"did we forget anything? guys, my parents are coming over, this has to be perfect!"

"who needs a meal when you have me?!~" angel said, dramatically laying across the table.

husk snorted. "baby, you are a big fucking marshmallow."

"I AM NOT A MARSHMALLOW!"

alastor had enough of this shit. "THEN ALLOW ME TO REMIND YOU OF ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT PARTS OF USING MARSHMALLOWS!"

everyone turned and stared at alastor. he was holding a blowtorch.

with a slight click, fire came spouting out of the end. "ALWAYS REMEMBER TO TORCH THEM!"

angel screamed, jumping off the table. "HOLY SH-"

•••

"ANGEL YOU ARE NOT DOING THIS!"

"YES I AM!"

husk and angel were arguing.

"whats all the commotion?" alastor asked, walking by.

husk sighed. "angel is insisting on coming to dinner in drag."

"you're not his dad, husk. let him wear what he wants."

"but-"

"no buts."

"oh thank GOD!" angel left his room in a dress very similar to the one worn by jessica rabbit, orange eyeshadow with a gold shimmer on the eyelid itself, and red lipstick that matched the dress.

husk felt his face go red. "on second thought... keep this."

•••
unfinished ecks dee

husk and angel were arguing... again.

"now what is it?" alastor sighed. "you know what, no, im not doing it this time. CHARLIE!"

charlie rushed over. "yeah?"

"handle... this."

charlie facepalmed. "what is it, guys?"

"angel is super drunk and he wants to fuck your dad."

"hhEy! he is HOT, okay?"

"...i am not doing this."