we are better than this...(Amephil)

awkward tension

Indonesia pov:

I stared at Philip's door room for a while now, being quite worried and scared for him I gulped feeling nervous all of a sudden "Indo?" I heard Canada sounding worried as well "is...Philip okay?..." he asked, "his...just stress right now..." I lied to him but Canada nodded slowly but his face is still full of worry.

I sat down next to him at the couch sighing a little bit Malay was at the kitchen looking at the door room but didn't say anything "i-" he was cut off when Philip open his door slowly looking down tiredly but still smiled a little bit, but it seems off... 

"Hey Canada it's been a long time since I saw you..." he chuckled scratching the back of his neck nervously.

Canada only smiled brightly "same to you Philip how's sunshine doing?" he said energetically Philip shrugged tiredly   "I'm fine as always," he said but I felt something wrong about it...

Philip walked inside the kitchen and Malay notice him Malay grabbed a cup of water and gave it to Philip  Philip smiled at him and slowly took it and sat at the table facing his back at me and Canada

I felt sadness crept over me just by seeing Philip like this I looked at Malay and I can feel Malay felt the same way "so Indo hows your day?" he said trying to lighten up the mood "china's being an asshole again" I replied with a smirk wanting that aswell "I mean...isn't all countries like that to each other? I think it's in our blood"

I looked at Canada for a second acting like my mind has been blown away "wait is that mean there's something wrong with my blood?" "shut up Indo you the most asshole one in the group" Malay yelled at the kitchen Canada is in a fit of giggles.

I was about to say something sappy when someone opens the door.

 its America "hey bro I got what you wanted me to buy" he said yawning but at the same time he looked sad for some reason "thanks, Ame you can put it on the table" he said smiling gently at him.

I looked at Philip again but I felt him flinch and tense up when Canada said America's name I was curious about it, America was about to go to the kitchen but froze for a moment when he saw Philip I don't know why but it made me more curious...

Philippines pov:

I was sitting at the table playing with the empty cup, Malay gave me... 

my tired eyes stared at it feeling nothing...just nothing...

I inhale in trying to fix myself up, I ignore all the chatting in the living room wanting to be quiet for a moment...

"thanks, Ame you can put it on the table"

'fuck'

 I felt my self tense up nervously quickly when I heard his name...

feeling myself wanting to get out of this situation quickly...  

godfucking dammit.

I felt my self shaking again I felt someone staring at me from my back and it's not making anything better for me...

but I can't get up ...

I can't get up from my sit

 move Philp do something, anything...

my eyes looked down at the table hard. 

I felt like someone glued the chair that I was sitting in to prevent me from getting up, I just felt frozen...

"Philip, are you okay dude?" I heard Malay said... 

I force my self to look up seeing Ame and Malay next to each other but I looked at Malay and tried not to look at Ame for my sake not wanting to shake...

I forced a smile "yup I'm fine I'm...just tired I guess" I said looking down again trying to look normal... 

I heard him sigh but didn't say anything I peaked up again but I accidentally looked at Ame.

I instantly froze.

he was staring right directly at me I can't tell because he's wearing his sunglasses but it looks like it's tilted in my direction... 

I felt my eyes widen I looked down quickly trying to avoid all contact with him I felt myself sweat... I finally got up from my sit looking away from Ame wanting to clear this awkward tension between him and me.

"I'm going to the bathroom for a moment," I mumbled fastly Malay looked at me suspiciously and I think indo aswell I walked passing by Ame quickly. 

I was in front of the bathroom door I open it fastly and close it shut my hand gripping the doorknob tightly, I tried to breathe in and out trying to calm myself down.

I didn't say anything... 

what else is it to say?

I went to in front of the bathroom mirror opening the faucet splashing it on my face, I breathe heavily but I was starting to calm down for a bit...

"calm down Philip there just here wanting to visit they'll leave later," I said quietly trying to assure myself...

"just...avoid him while you can..." I tried to convince myself

I looked down at the sink feeling the urge to stay here for a while but of course, he'll seem more suspicious.

I stood up properly getting the towel behind me and rubbed it on my face getting the wetness off after I was done I stared at the door for a while contemplating if I should stay here till Ame is gone or face a day with him. 

but I already know what decision I'm gonna choose...

I breathe in readying myself like I was about to fight...

"fuck it..."