(I added here cuz it connect the chap 2 soorry)
Warning:
Mental Disorder
Suicidal Plans
Vent
Depressed Philippines
Over Thinks
Shadowss
(Please Leave if you don't like vent or you have anxiety)
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Philippines' POV
In My room at midnight. The moon shines my room ...
I'm still here.. with my ASEAN bros.. Tears dropping from my sick eyes
I hate it when i see someone sad... I'm not sad.. No.. I'm not..
I went to take my happy pills from my cabinet and a glass of water on my table
I swallowed 2 Happy pills.. The more, the happier..
I went back to my bed and gaze on the shining moon. I opened my window to let the cold breezing wind come in my room.. I started crying even more.. I don't know why.. Thoughts began to hate me..
'You can't be a leader!' ' Your weak, such a sunny gag#!'
I know..
'Then why are you still in this evil World?! Isn't it nice to see you parents up? Come on, It's only 1 second pain.. I promise'
No.. I can't My Friends.. My bross. I can't just leave them..
'Friends? Really? They always smile around you but you don't know anything when you turn around. They are nothing to you. They want your land.. Since it has a lot of riches.. Am I right?'
I was silenced for seconds. Even my Thoughts could defeat me.. I know That Luzon, Vizayas, And Mindanao are a better leaders rather Than me.. I've always want peace but no.. Drugs, Murders, Corruptions.. I CAN'T DEFEAT THEM...
I kept scratching my cuts not knowing that ita was opening a bit and.. it was bleeding.. I panicked and took my medical kit. I bandage my arms. and cleaned all the blood that dripped in the window..
They must not know..
'Come On Philip, It's time for you to go up. They can fix your Land.'
I can't... I can't..
'Why not?'
They'll Hate me more.. My people.. I haven't Finished my Mission as a leader.. I cannot just leave them..
'tsk.. Such A weakling.. And what? Your gonna stay here and secretly hurt yourself? To make you feel Better? Ha??'
Yeah.. Probably.. But dont worry. I slightly smiled gazing at my bandaged arms
'huh?'
If I finished it all.. And due to cutting my arms deeply, I should be getting weak every day and unconsciously die or just hang myself hahaha.
I don't Know why I'm Laughing..
'Ha! Not bad for A weakling. Fine by me But hurry up, It's already exciting for me..'
I inhaled The cold breezed air and wrapped myself with a blanket.
Tomorrow's Task..
Make sure everyone will be happy and must not know anything
Tomorrows is Day 1..
I smiled innocently
Great.. The pills are working.. I am fine
i am ok
I am alright
Right...
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I'm sorry..
YOU ARE READING
I tried... But I still Lost..
FanfictionPhilippines loves to smile Loves to be with his friends all of them actually But he knows he doesn't belong with them. Does He really have a mental disorder or his thought are really destroying him? A shadow destroying him? Making him feel more le...
