Clouded Minds

Chapter 3: Recovery

Takagi was rarely one to cry. She had grown out of it at a young age and developed a strong hold on her emotions even in earlier elementary school. Sure, she still had the occasional argument with her parents or disagreement with a friend, but she never yelled or screamed and hardly ever shed a tear. She was witty and confident in her actions, yet not overly flamboyant. In fact, she barely had any troubles until she met Nishikata. His priceless reactions were so funny that she just couldn't resist provoking him.

But what had started out as curiosity, coupled with a liking to the boy's subtle kindness, quickly grew into a full-blown crush. And with it, Takagi's feelings began to be disrupted increasingly more often. Did he think her clothes looked cute? What things did he like to do? What could she do to get him to notice her? Was there any chance that he might like her back? Even if they weren't a couple, her mood tended to change more and more depending on his presence and actions.

It wasn't like she had grown less sharp; for the most part, Takagi was still just as shrewd as ever, easily foiling Nishikata's plans and reading his reactions. But things like him hanging her "status quo" calligraphy in his room or getting her surprise souvenirs really threw Takagi off her game. Actually asking her out and then holding her hand was even more exciting, making it hard for her to hold it in even from the outside. The proof was in her inability to concentrate or even sit still since the festival.

But now, Takagi was experiencing a new feeling. Something she had never felt in connection to her crush before, as things had always been so fun and light. Something she was totally unprepared for. And it was a feeling she wouldn't wish on anyone.

Despair.

Her mother could tell something was wrong when Takagi came home that night and was especially sweet to her, letting her go to bed without helping with the dishes. Her friend Sumire had called and texted that night to ask how it went, but Takagi wasn't ready to answer yet. A brown cat had even gotten onto her windowsill that evening and was nice enough to let her stroke it a few times before jumping back onto a tree branch. But none of it helped.

So as Takagi lay curled up in a ball in her bed, watching her faint digital clock change to 1am, she couldn't help but cry. At least a few more tears.

She was a top performer. She almost had straight A's and she consistently outwitted Nishikata in whatever scheme he had planned. She could usually see right through him and know exactly what he was thinking, at least at a high level.

So how had she gone and misread her relationship with Nishikata so horribly?

At that moment, Nishikata was everything to her. She didn't want to sound like some sappy romance novel, but for months she had set her entire future on being with her love, even marrying him after they matured one day. She knew it was naive, but she had still fallen for him, quirks and all. And every day that they moved forward, from them stargazing to him noticing and comforting her in times of need, that dream had only intensified.

With that said, the harsh reality of him cringing away from her endearing touch was truly shattering. Was every fantasy she had thought up just impossible? Had she forged up some make-believe perception of what Nishikata thought of her, when in truth she was really just a friendly rival, nothing more?

He was always nervous when she teased him about holding her hand and got even more uncomfortable whenever she talked about crushes. Based on how he looked at her, how he acted, how he nearly nodded 'yes' when she asked if he liked her that one time at school, Nishikata had to like her! And he had even held her hand on his own accord!

But if that were really true, then why would he have rejected her first persistent attempt at real affection so blatantly? Takagi thought he had been having a good time, acting even more level-headed than usual and still being willing to hold the kite with her. During the summer festival fireworks, she had worried that she came onto him too much and frightened him away, until he appeared at the last moment and blew away her expectations yet again. So by now she really thought he had matured. But had her emotions blinded her, making her fail to notice something awry until it was too late?