What The Hell Is Wrong With This Family? (BNHA Chatfic)

17

Shouto: How to Disown Your Father - a guide by Shouto Todoroki

Natsuo: Oh sweet, a book that I'd actually read

Shouto: Step 1 - Declare your teacher as your new legal guardian

Natsuo: I don't like my teachers, can Fuyumi be my legal guardian

Fuyumi: What makes you think I want to deal with a 19 year old who still drinks Caprisun?

Natsuo: LEAVE MY CAPRISUNS OUT OF THIS

Natsuo:

Shouto: Step 2 - Date/get married to a rival of his ( or the son of his rival )

Touya: Keigo, get in the car, we're going on a fucking spree

Natsuo: Sir, this is a McDonald's drive thru

Keigo: Wait but you still don't have a car

Natsuo: Like the poor ass hoe you are 💅🙄

Touya: FUck it, I'm coming over

Shouto: Step 3 - Take a shit on his computer

Natsuo: Touya, come back, I have a strange request

Touya: I don't understand, do you not know how to take a shit on your own?

Natsuo: I—

Touya: Piss off and do it yourself you fucking coward

Shouto: Step 4 - Expose him

Touya: Time to ruin this man's whole career

Touya: gEt Me ThE cAmErA cReW

Natsuo: What are you gonna do?  Expose him on public TV?

Touya: :D

Shouto: Step 5 - FLAT OUT BLACKMAIL HIM UNTIL THE MOB GETS HIM

Fuyumi: My specialty

Touya: You still didn't blackmail me btw

Fuyumi: Who says I haven't been?

Touya: What

Touya: Don't fucking tell me that's why that crusty ass bitch as been destroying all my fucking pants

Keigo: Wait I just thought you liked walking around in underwear

Touya: Only when you're around

Touya: But if I had to be honest, it's even more comfortable without anything on ;)

Natsuo: Does anyone have extra bleach?

Shouto: Step 6 - Pour water on his head so that his flames go out