Hi Mary!
Luca here. New on Wattpad. I just finished reading The boy who didn't love. It's pretty good I must say. I especially love the Brady. I think he's harmlessly humourous. Your choice of using third-person (omni-present) narration was very efficient in letting us into Marina & Brady's relationship (Their thoughts and well, attitude). Their relationship is very realistic of an employee-employer relationship in real life. So, Bravo on that part.
Now, for some constructive criticism. ( I won't be harsh.)
I like Alice, who seems to be the main character and not Sawyer as the title implies. I kinda feel like there were some missed opportunities you could've explored in the story. Like,
1) With your choice of narration, you could've let us know a little bit more about Sawyer as an individual and not from Ali's POV.
2) You could've explored Ali and her grandma's relationship, leading us to care for her so that when you take her away it not only hurts Ali but hurts us too as the audience.
3) The time jumps were really huge. I mean i get that the pace of the story is fast but the jump we exponential! So, sudden. Made it feel rushed, like you got tired of writing your own story down the way and couldn't wait to reach the end.
So, yeah that's my feedback. I'm a writer myself too but I'm yet to share any of my work as i'm still new. Hopefully, when I do, you will offer me the same courtesy. I will be checking out your other works as I do like your style of writing. It's uhm, well, different. Keep writing!