"It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads."
- Andy Borowitz
"The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us."
- Bill Watterson
"Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so."
- Bertrand Russell
"The world is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper."
- Bertrand Russell
"As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it."
- Dick Cavett
"A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists."
- Don Marquis
"A woman is like a tea bag - you can't tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water."
- Eleanor Roosevelt
"I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness."
- Emo Philips
"If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you."
- Groucho Marx
"The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity."
- Harlan Ellison
"People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do."
- Isaac Asimov
"My pessimism extends to the point of even suspecting the sincerity of other pessimists."
- Jean Rostand
"Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid."
- John Wayne
"Life is hard. After all, it kills you."
- Katharine Hepburn
"Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad."
- Miles Kington
"It's always darkest before the dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it."
- Navjot Singh Sidhu
"If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?"
- Scott Adams
"If any of you cry at my funeral I'll never speak to you again."
- Stan Laurel
"A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do."
- Walter Bagehot
- A smart person
- district 12
- JoinedApril 8, 2019