i'll be spamming updates for rdc and putting my poetry books back up. if theyre in your library, apologies in advance, ik spam updates are a bit annoying.
          	ly guys


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hey, vee. you probably don't know who i am but i want to say that i miss you so much. we all do. i don't know what happened but i hope that wherever you are, you're safe and you're doing good. i'm trying so hard not to cry, shit. i don't even know you but i'm proud that you were created and i love you. hope to see you someday but until then, i'll keep you in my prayers.


i miss you, angel. you’ll be in my prayers forever and always. i hope you’re happy wherever you are, away from all the sadness in this wicked world. words aren’t even nearly enough to describe how i feel. you’ll always be my name twin & i’ll carry you in my heart forever. i love you. 


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vee hi! you might not remember me i’ve gone by so many aliases on this app. rai, cynthia, salem, etc. you didn’t even know a few of them since you just disappeared. i think i have an idea of what happened, but i’m not sure. gosh, i fucking miss you, vee. 
          going back on your message board, i see many calling you an angel. you are an angel; you know that? wanna know why? it’s the a.m. right now, but the sun is still sleeping. i woke up and checked the time.
          4:44, angel numbers. 
          i have been noticing 444 where ever i am, but i never looked up the meaning till now. i don’t know how i found myself on @/wildflowerstyles message board, but vee the last message they left was so hard for my “why did my brain wake me up at ungodly hours?” brain to process ;-; 
          i briefly looked at other accounts that commented on her last message. fuck, i missed you so much, vee. i didn’t know where you went or what happened. it’s my fault for not being stable at that time. i miss you, heavens, i miss you. 
          once i had an idea of what happened, i looked up what 444 means. / fuck you, vee. did you want to see me cry? /j 


“ Whereas number 0 is about God/Universe, number 1 is about you and manifestation, number 3 symbolizes whatever spiritual master you are close to (Jesus, a saint, etc.), number 4 is all about angels. When you see the numbers 4, 44, 444, or 4444 you can be assured that angels are with you. They have heard your prayers and you’re not alone. “ 
            vee, you have no idea how much i’ve been struggling recently, or maybe you do since you never disappeared. you’re one of my guardian angels now. thank you for looking out for me. thank you for letting me know that you’ve been with me all along; crap, i can’t see my keyboard im crying so much. 
            vee i wish you could have talked to me. you meant so much, trust me. i am sorry i didn’t know you were in a dark place; vee i thank you for looking out for me while i was there too. it’s been a challenging year, but you’ve been with me. 
            thank you, vee. 


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howdy i didn’t comment much on pw and i finished it a couple days ago but i just needed to let out some emotions lmfao. okay here we go. 
          holy fuckin’ shit. you so so incredibly talented. pw is deffo in my top rattpad books. honestly if it was a movie it’d be better than “after”. i have not been able to stop thinking abt it, it’s had a lasting effect on me oml. it was just so well done and i’m sad i finished it but now ima wait a few days/ weeks and reread it bahahhaha 
                                     xoxo rattpad girl < 3