LittleLovelyTurtle

 #emotionallyunavailablebutwantstokisssomeone

I wanna kiss someone 
          specifically a girl 
          also
          specifically be kissed BY and girl 
          that sounds so nice 
          like 
          soft 
          n
          happy 
          

I’m sorry for ranting there! I just needed to calm down a bit 
          have a nice day :))

god I’m so scared 
          I’ve been struggling so much with food intake and I know I’m not eating enough but I can’t I just can’t but I’m trying to be okay and not fall into this 
          right now I’m in a bathroom 
          willing just willing myself not to throw up I know I don’t need to 
          I can keep it in 
          I know I can 
          It was so loud everything got so loud I couldn’t be there anymore I had to leave 
          it’s quieter now, it’s gonna be okay, I don’t need to throw up now, I’ll be okay 
          I just need to wait it out 
          I’ll be fine 
          everything is fine 
          it’s fine 

There is no reason for me to be crying 
          but 
          I am 
          wtfffffffff

My girlfriend is officially the best ever and no one can change my mind she’s just so great 

I don’t know how to handle people 
          
          If I give in and just let stuff go back to how it was, I’ll get hurt again, everything will repeat itself and it’ll be mental torture for me 
          but if I don’t I’ll hurt people around me and make things awkward and I don’t want to make people feel like they’re walking on eggshells around me 
          but if I do let things go back I might hurt different people 
          but if I don’t I could hurt this person and I really don’t want to I mean I don’t particularly like them right now but they did help me out in the past before it became such a not-nice friendship and I still don’t want anything bad or hurtful to happen to them
          im just confused 
          :/

I went to my mom bc I couldn’t see the moon anymore and made a joke about the moon leaving me and when I could see it again I told my mom that the moon came back and when I was walking away she yells at me “YAY YOUR FINALLY NOT A LOSER”
          god I love my mom 

i want to cry but I can’t 
           my stummy hurts bc im hungry but when I eat it hurts my stummy more 
          

my gf moves back soon and I can’t wait to see her again and that’s one thing that makes me happy and I should think about that but no my brain is all like 
          “everything is meaningless and you don’t matter” and shish like that like wth man