"It's Vodka, it goes bad once it's opened."


"Oh please, I've been drinking since before you were born. So if alcohol is the reason I'm here, I got news for you bub, it's the reason you're here too."

"Hey, you're mean sober too!"


"Here's some money, go see a star war."


"I don't understand the question and I will not respond to it."


"Look at what the homosexuals have done to me, everything they do is so dramatic and flamboyant it makes me want to set myself on fire."


"Get me a vodka rocks.'

"Mom, it's breakfast."

"And a piece of toast."


"I want the guy with the one arm and fake blood. I need J. Walter Weatherman."

"Oh, he's dead. You killed him when you left the door open with the air conditioning on."


"Do you guys know where I can get one of those gold necklaces with a 't' on it?"

"A cross?"

"Across from where?"


"Why should you go to jail for a crime someone else noticed?"


"I don't want no part of your tight-ass country club you freak bitch!"


"Did you enjoy your meal mom? You drank it fast enough."


"Has anyone in this family ever seen a chicken?"


"I have the afternoon free."

"Really? Did "nothing" cancel?"


"Tell me the truth, there's been a lot of lying in this family."

"And a lot of love."

"More lies."


-Arrested Development

I'm not an alcoholic I swear.
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  • JoinedJuly 11, 2018


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falsettolandweeee falsettolandweeee Jul 12, 2018 02:02AM
I wish there were more original books on here that weren't cliché hetro romance novels that I can find in a grocery store, I just want a story about friends having a good time, something more people...
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Story by drop dead depressed
Flowers in the Trees by falsettolandweeee
Flowers in the Trees
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