At age 5, I invented peas and mashed potatoes. Prior to this event, people ate their peas willynilly. They were all over the place. It was mass hysteria. So I said to my mom, I said, "Why don't you just stick that shit in mashed potatoes?" to which she replied, "Stop swearing! And take your hands out of your pants!" I chose to do neither. 

After that, I went to college, where I experimented with my sexuality. Sometimes as a man, sometimes as a woman, sometimes as Tyrannosaurus Rex. Sexsasaurus Rex, that's what they called me... until the day I went mysteriously missing.

Where I went from there? Nobody knows. Perhaps I wondered from town to town, fixing the wrongs of the world. Perhaps I discovered porn on the internet and spent years locked in my room, writing erotic fan fiction.

Either way, one day I was found, naked, hanging from a tree, in the Northern Canadian Jungle. I lept from that tree, and crawled sixty miles back to civilization, battling dire cobras, dire bears, and dire wolves all along the way. When I finally made it into a local Holiday Inn, I'll never forget the first words that they said to me. "Why are you naked?...Eh?"

From there, I returned to civilization, and after a brief stint in jail for regicide, I got an account on Wattpad. And thus I decided to start writing books, and you know the rest.
  • Ohio
  • JoinedAugust 7, 2013

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elementalcobalt elementalcobalt Oct 21, 2016 03:28PM
WOOP! Finally obtained #1 in non-fiction for Wattpad 101! It's hit second place a few times, but this is first time it's ever hit first place. Thank you all for continuing to show interest. I have a...
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Stories by Dorian T. Chase
Wattpad 101: Your guide to the world of Wattpad by elementalcobalt
Wattpad 101: Your guide to the world of Wattpad #25 in Non-Fiction
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