At age 5, I invented peas and mashed potatoes. Prior to this event, people ate their peas willynilly. They were all over the place. It was mass hysteria. So I said to my mom, I said, "Why don't you just stick that shit in mashed potatoes?" to which she replied, "Stop swearing! And take your hands out of your pants!" I chose to do neither. 

After that, I went to college, where I experimented with my sexuality. Sometimes as a man, sometimes as a woman, sometimes as Tyrannosaurus Rex. Sexsasaurus Rex, that's what they called me... until the day I went mysteriously missing.

Where I went from there? Nobody knows. Perhaps I wondered from town to town, fixing the wrongs of the world. Perhaps I discovered porn on the internet and spent years locked in my room, writing erotic fan fiction.

Either way, one day I was found, naked, hanging from a tree, in the Northern Canadian Jungle. I lept from that tree, and crawled sixty miles back to civilization, battling dire cobras, dire bears, and dire wolves all along the way. When I finally made it into a local Holiday Inn, I'll never forget the first words that they said to me. "Why are you naked?...Eh?"

From there, I returned to civilization, and after a brief stint in jail for regicide, I got an account on Wattpad. And thus I decided to start writing books, and you know the rest.
  • Ohio
  • JoinedAugust 7, 2013



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elementalcobalt elementalcobalt Oct 21, 2016 03:28PM
WOOP! Finally obtained #1 in non-fiction for Wattpad 101! It's hit second place a few times, but this is first time it's ever hit first place. Thank you all for continuing to show interest. I have a...
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Stories by Dorian T. Chase
Wattpad 101: Your guide to the world of Wattpad by elementalcobalt
Wattpad 101: Your guide to the world of Wattpad Non-Fiction
So you just started an account... Or maybe you've been here a while and you just aren't getting a feel for things. Well Dorian is here to help you out! Here is an ongoing guide and the tricks of the trade. How to g...
Every Book Ever Written by elementalcobalt
Every Book Ever Written Humor
I started these in my Wattpad 101 as a joke chapter that showcases all the cliches among various genres. I started with Fan Fiction, moved on to Fantasy and Sci Fi... and to be honest, I like writing these funny &q...
Hawtness (Watty's 2016) by elementalcobalt
Hawtness (Watty's 2016) #417 in Humor
Vampires, Angels, and Demons, Oh My! Jane's life will never be the same when she stumbles onto Hawtness, the ten sexiest guys at Fairmont High, and finds out they are hiding ten deadly secrets, each more ludicrous...
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