cognitive-cloud

If you would like to apply to be my new father, please pm me with your best dad joke
          	
          	Or just pm me with a dad joke, whether you would like to be my father or not, dad jokes are funny

XxLunaTheShipperxX

@cognitive-cloud (YES) What's the difference between a tuna fish, piano and a tube of glue?
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cognitive-cloud

@XxLunaTheShipperxX yes, girls can also apply :)
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XxLunaTheShipperxX

@cognitive-cloud i would but im a girl, unless girls can also apply xD
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cognitive-cloud

If you would like to apply to be my new father, please pm me with your best dad joke
          
          Or just pm me with a dad joke, whether you would like to be my father or not, dad jokes are funny

XxLunaTheShipperxX

@cognitive-cloud (YES) What's the difference between a tuna fish, piano and a tube of glue?
Reply

cognitive-cloud

@XxLunaTheShipperxX yes, girls can also apply :)
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XxLunaTheShipperxX

@cognitive-cloud i would but im a girl, unless girls can also apply xD
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cognitive-cloud

I really like the idea of kiri having a Mexican mother who speaks Spanish, but doesnt speak japanese, which means kiri and his like 6 other siblings are bilingual, and his mother only makes Mexican food, which means that he can handle spicy foods better than Bakugou. And like he hates his 4 little siblings and will fight them to the death. 
          
          Just imagine kiri going to bakus house to spend the night, and his mom makes food, and its kiris first time trying homemade japanese food, and he thinks it's absolutely delicious. But, then, baku spends the night with kiri and finds out that kiri yells more at home than baku does, bc kiri got 4 annoying little siblings he screams at. And then bakus reaction whenever kiri starts yelling at his siblings in Spanish, and then kiris mom starts threatening them in Spanish while waving her chancla around. Also, kiris mom adds A LOT of spicy stuff to her cooking, and kiri warns baku of this and bakus like "nothing I cant handle," but he ends up crying while kiri is fine

TheLonelySomeone

@cognitive-cloud I LOVE THIS lemme go read that one shot now
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The_Emo_Obligo101

@cognitive-cloud sounds like my house. Latino, and you must SCREM if you want to exist, even there are judt 4 of us
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cognitive-cloud

I'm pretty sure that I just heard my dad call my depressive episode an 'excuse to stay home from school' like bitch??? No it aint???? Well anyways accepting applications for a new father

cognitive-cloud

this message may be offensive
Just realized that pinocchio could fuck a girl and eat her ass at the same time and I hate myself so fucking much and I'm sobbing I'm sorry

Kawaiifoofoo

@cognitive-cloud  i- well, i mean your not wrong but  how did you just like think of that? like out of nowhere.
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cognitive-cloud

Do you hate it when people say "oh, I know what it's like to be the friend everyone goes to for help and advice" even though they obviously dont bc they dont have any clue what to say to someone who's upset and struggling?
          
          Yeah me too

TheLonelySomeone

@cognitive-cloud unfortunately I actually am the person everyone goes to for advice and I'm just like why? I'm like the least put together person 
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cognitive-cloud

I JUST REMEMBERED THAT YESTERDAY I WAS IN A STORE AT THE MALL AND THESE TWO LADIES SAW A SHARK NECKLACE AND WENT "HEY LOOK IT'S KIRISHIMA" AND STARTED SINGING "KIRISHIMA SHARK DO-DO-DO-" AND ALL THAT AND I WENT UP TO THEM AND SAID "amazing" AMD WALKED AWAY IF THOSE TWO GIRLS SOMEHOW SEE THIS HI HMU YALL WERE CUTE AND I ALREADY LOVE YOU
          
          (or yknow if you exist feel free to hmu aight boo boo ;) im not picky) 
          
          (also my girlfriend said that she'd forgive me if I cheated on her so I'm taking that as an 'this is an open relationship' so ya)

Starlight8507

@cognitive-cloud I really appreciate these little life updates so thank you 
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cognitive-cloud

@cognitive-cloud I NEED TO FIND MY SOULMATE
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cognitive-cloud

I feel like its important for everyone to know that when I was 3-4, my dad's friend (who was babysitting me at the time) taught me how to seductively lick lollipops and like that. My dad wasnt very happy with them.

XxLunaTheShipperxX

@cognitive-cloud im not even joking
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XxLunaTheShipperxX

@cognitive-cloud so you aren't the only one then-
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TheLonelySomeone

@cognitive-cloud that's an odd thing to learn but it could be useful you never know
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cognitive-cloud

Its 1:30 am and I'm watching the bee movie. I also sent the bee movie script to many people I know

a_random_creature

@cognitive-cloud I did that a couple days ago while cosplaying lmao
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The_Emo_Obligo101

@cognitive-cloud I'd ask if you're ok, but I'm the least qualified person to ask that.
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babyfaceSaavaage

@cognitive-cloud  what in the hell?  that is is so random
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cognitive-cloud

"It's okay, even if god doesn't witness our works, at least we will remember."
          
          -someone from the comment section on a markiplier fnaf 6 let's play part 3