Hail to you

Greetings, people of the internet. This is an update of my account and hopia like it. {badum-tsh!}

*You lost your phone and its on silent?
   Too bad. If you liked you shoulda put a ring on it.

*I speak 4 languages.
  English, profanity, sarcasm, and real s**t.

*I don't always make sense,
  But when I do, I don't.

*If you feel sad, remember:
  Somewhere in the world, there's an idiot pulling a door that says "push"

*My love is like a candle.
  Because if you forget about me, I'll burn your friggin house to the ground.

*Hail Hydra!
(God, this never gets old.)