Hello, my friend or enemy.

Yes, my name is ironic.

Yes, I'm from Zamibia, a wonderful place known as Calum's mind.

"Who's Calum?" You ask? Just a bassist, ya know? "Just a bassist, you bitch!" No, no, I love bassists. Deep, right? *Laughs*

"But who is Calum?" You ask? Just a cool guy, ya know? Just a name, ya know? "Just a fucking name, how dare you!" No, no, it's a great name. Isn't that a name of some guy in a band, a hot one? I mean the guy, not the band, but, like, if the band is hot, too...

"I don't understand who Calum is." You say? Just my bass guitar, ya know? "A bass guitar, really?" Well, yeah, what did you think I was talking about? Calum's truly beautiful.

"Are you a Calum girl?" You ask? Well, I don't have a type, but... It's not a competition. Oops, I think I just quoted-

"Bitch, please, just admit it. You're a Calum girl." Wow. *Lowers voice* Wow. How nice of you to speak on behalf of me.

Anyway...

I take films and series and turn them into a (realistic) fanfiction based on our lovely 5SOS.

I also use my own ideas, I'm not that useless, I swear.

You want to know what I'm like in real life? Well...

I also eat cake, lots and lots of cake. Wait, hold on, someone's talking to me... "Cake" is a ship name? Are you serious? Of who? Calum and Luke, really? Oh, well, I don't eat them, but... I like the food version of cake. But don't tell anyone that.

So... Is this, like, it? Can I leave? Oh, no? I have to say those special words?

I think I already love you.

So, read my stories.

I'll take to you a tropical island and feed you secrets.

Choose me.

Please.
  • Zamibia
  • JoinedJune 16, 2014


Last Message
Originality-Is-Me Originality-Is-Me Apr 19, 2017 06:21PM
To all of my "fans", whether you read this or not, this may be my first serious post ever. I've deleted some other posts because they're no longer relevant to my profile, but I would just like to say...
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