MiltonMarmalade

Paperback 'A Mermaid in the Bath' only £2!
          	
          	Hello Saline Sympathisers and Mermaid Lovers everywhere,
          	
          	The lovely paperback version of 'A Mermaid in the Bath' with its mermaid illustrations and print margins calculated according to arcane medieval principles has been discounted to close to the printing price by Amazon uk! I don't know why, they don't tell me. The usual cover price is £8! This cannot last - order your copy now! (It's still $10.99 with offers from $7.76 on Amazon.com.) 
          	
          	Go to http://www.MiltonMarmalade.uk for all Amazon links.
          	
          	Your chum,
          	
          	Mellifluous Mollusc

MiltonMarmalade

Paperback 'A Mermaid in the Bath' only £2!
          
          Hello Saline Sympathisers and Mermaid Lovers everywhere,
          
          The lovely paperback version of 'A Mermaid in the Bath' with its mermaid illustrations and print margins calculated according to arcane medieval principles has been discounted to close to the printing price by Amazon uk! I don't know why, they don't tell me. The usual cover price is £8! This cannot last - order your copy now! (It's still $10.99 with offers from $7.76 on Amazon.com.) 
          
          Go to http://www.MiltonMarmalade.uk for all Amazon links.
          
          Your chum,
          
          Mellifluous Mollusc

MiltonMarmalade

Dear Fishy Philosophers everywhere,
          
          Please join in and comment on my philosophical ramblings on my blog at http://www.miltonmarmalade.uk
          
          Your chum,
          
          Milton Marmalade
          
          Excerpts from a recent blog post:
          
          "We see a tree, and instead of marveling at its size, structure, the way the light catches innumerable leaves, the way it rustles, it is as if we only see the label, 'tree.' The same can happen with our interactions with each other, and with every mundane event. The label is fitted into our internal map of the world, which is as much like the real world as Google maps is to the town you live in, that is, it is and is not." 
          
          "All one can do with things that cannot be reasoned about is make poetry, art, dance or drama in order to try to resonate with that within us that knows already."

MiltonMarmalade

Dear mermaid lovers and followers of fishy philosophy and piscine prose everywhere, 
          
          I see that Amazon has slashed the price of 'A Mermaid in the Bath' from £8.00 to £6.17, at least on Amazon.co.uk, and $10.99 on Amazon.com. Buy now while you still can at these bargain prices (you know you want to)! The book has fishy printer's ornaments consisting of mermaids, fish, starfish, jellyfish, crabs, coelocanths and union jack boxer shorts, and a lovely mermaid in a circle and square opposite chapter 44. And quite a lot of jokes. Go on, go on!
          
          Hugs,
          
          Milton Maramalade

MiltonMarmalade

@dandydilettante You don't need much money, just a winning smile and an ability to listen. BMW? Over-rated.
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dandydilettante

@MiltonMarmalade How have you peered so eerily into my soul, or is an Italian lady simply the standard missing ingredient in all of this ... some dusky allure which may even exist in the Cotswolds and be that bit cheaper than finally having to purchase a passport?
            
            I don't know ... maybe I should just buy a Sugardaddy manual and take out credit on a BMW.
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MiltonMarmalade

@dandydilettante Well, there nevertheless can be things to enjoy in a mid-life crisis, and if you've done the painful part and survived, now is the time to buy a cheap Mark 1 Mazda MX5 (or a Ford Anglia if you prefer) and drive around Italy (or Chipping Sodbury if you prefer) searching for true love in the dark eyes of an Italian lovely (or Gloucestershire lovely if you prefer). Actually Gloucestershire lovelies are probably less volatile, and you could still buy an MX5 and go to Gloucestershire. That's part of the secret of life, really, to avoid rigid thinking. Anyway, when you have recovered from reading 'A Mermaid in the Bath' in all its paperback glory, please take a moment to give an honest Amazon review. Ta very much.  
            Your chum,
            Milton Mevagissey
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MiltonMarmalade

Greetings to all Saline Sympathisers, Littoral Litterati and Lovers of Improbable Fairy-tales everywhere,
          
          You will have noticed that my threat to remove all but the first few chapters of 'A Mermaid in the Bath' (https://www.wattpad.com/story/7410604-a-mermaid-in-the-bath ) has not materialised. This is because I am still working on converting it to Kindle format (using a wonderful piece of software called Scrivener - https://www.literatureandlatte.com/ ). Once the super-cheap Kindle edition is available I shall carry out my threat and you will have to buy the Kindle edition in order to finish reading it. (Mwahaha!)
          
          Meanwhile the beautifully-produced paperback is available from Amazon everywhere - even in China. Go to my blog on http://www.miltonmarmalade.uk for links.
          
          Love and peace,
          
          Milton Marmalade

MiltonMarmalade

Hello again Fishy Friends, Twinkling Teleosts and Elegant Elasmobranchs,
          Moving for once away from the topic of fish and Mermaids, you will be entranced to learn that I have written the true story of Redcap and the Wolf, which was vouchsafed to me in a dream. You will discover that the story has been given a false spin by unscrupulous journalists in the past, and that the Wolf, while not entirely innocent, was not as dark as painted, and in fact survived the unprovoked attack on him by the Woodcutter. As for the grandmother, well, just because you're old doesn't make you a saint necessarily.
          Your chum,
          Milton Marmalade
          https://www.wattpad.com/352549796-the-decameron-2-0-day-5-5-revenge-wolf-and-redcap

MiltonMarmalade

Hello Salty Siren Lovers and Fishy Chums everywhere,
          
          Other pressing matters (like earning a living) have prevented me from carrying out my intention of removing the later chapters of 'A Mermaid in the Bath' from Wattpad as an inducement to you to buy the book (go to www.mermaid1.uk for links to my book on Amazon worldwide).  Carry on reading, right up to Christmas!
          
          However, the book has great beauty with little printer's ornaments in the shapes of various fishes, crabs and so on, wide margins and some big illustrations including the glorious cover. If you have enjoyed 'A Mermaid in the Bath' then why not buy a copy for someone for Christmas? Or Eid or Diwali or just because you like them? 
          
          Damp hugs from the Sea of Inspiration,
          Your friend in Mermaids,
          Milton Marmalade

MiltonMarmalade

Sapient Selkies, Sagacious Sirenophiles, Winsome Whelks and Miraculous Molluscs everywhere,
          
          I have now started the process of amending the first few chapters of 'A Mermaid in the Bath' on Wattpad to bring it closer to the text as published in paperback form and available from Amazon and bookstores more-or-less everywhere (go to http://www.miltonmarmalade.uk for Amazon links worldwide). The later chapters will be removed from Wattpad when this process is completed. The book is a little work of art, what with its fishes and mermaid pictures and a rare illustration of union jack underpants. It is sure to become a world-wide phenomenon in about 50-100 years' time, so read it now and be ahead of the crowd.
          
          Seaweedy hugs,
          Your friend in Mermaids,
          Milton Marmalade

MiltonMarmalade

Greetings Sagacious Sirenophiles! (Wise Mermaid-lovers everywhere),
          Those of you who have joined my happy throng of followers recently may not know that 'A Mermaid in the Bath' is now available in a beautiful paperback edition, replete with little fishes and three full-page illustrations of mermaids in no more apparel than that in which they were born. At or soon after the end of this month only the first half-dozen or so chapters will remain on Wattpad, so if you wish to read it free you will need to do so now. 
          
          Meanwhile Milton Marmalade's blog can be found at http://www.miltonmarmalade.uk where in due course new stories will be posted, and where you can find handy links to 'A Mermaid in the Bath' on Amazon around the world. 
          
          Those of you who are impecunious may prefer to wait for the cheaper Kindle edition, which will follow when I get a moment to spare. As long as you are following me on Wattpad you will be notified when the Kindle version is available but don't hold your breath (unless diving for pearls). A physical book has a certain sensuous charm.
          
          Fishy felicitations and a hug,
          
          Milton Marmalade

MiltonMarmalade

Hello Pulchritudinous Periwinkles!
          
          'A Mermaid in the Bath' - the paperback - is available now, worldwide through booksellers and on Amazon, and has three full-page illustrations of mermaids as nature intended them, plus various little fishes, crabs, jellyfish and mermaids scattered throughout and the occasional evil-looking squid.
          
          I shall shortly be replacing the first half-dozen or so chapters on 'A Mermaid in the Bath' on Wattpad with the final edited text, as it appears in the published book. The remaining chapters will be removed from Wattpad at the end of September.
          
          Buy now! You know you want to. Amazon links are to be found on my blog at www.miltonmarmalade.uk
          
          Love and hugs,
          
          Malodorous Mackerel aka Milton marmalade

BG_Davies

@MiltonMarmalade Great. I'm in!
Reply

MiltonMarmalade

@BG_Davies  Thank you!  'A Mermaid in the Bath' is available from Amazon Canada.  It is distributed through Barnes and Noble so should be available by ordering from a bookshop also. 
            https://www.amazon.ca/Mermaid-Bath-Mermaids-Consciousness-Philosophical/dp/0956549764/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1472643847&sr=1-1&keywords=milton+marmalade
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BG_Davies

@MiltonMarmalade So happy for you. I will be buying one if we can work out shipping to Canada.
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