It's best to lose.

Everything happening in life will lead up to the biggest event. Death.
Every tear you cried.
Every heartbreak you have had.
Every broken friendship.
All of it. 
It'll lead to depression.
Depression will cut your wrists.
Depression will starve you.
Depression is your babysitter.
Depression will lose you.
Depression is apart of your heart
Depression will always remind you of those friendships.
Depression will be the death of you.

"You'll be okay."
"Everything will be fine."

That's what they say.

"Time will heal your wounds."
"You'll forget."

That's what they say.

"But what if I'm not okay?
What if everything becomes worse?
What if it's too late for time?
What if I never forget?" 

You know you're depressed
when you look in the mirror
and see how cold your eyes are
and immediately tear up.

"I don't think Olivia would ever be depressed.
She's like a butterfly." 

And yet, here I am.
Crying as I try to figure out what I did.
What I did to deserve this.
What I did to make them hate me.
What I did to deserve to be broken.
What I did to make them leave me.
What I did to be born
What I did to be unfortunate enough to wake up everyday.

"I have a bad life" because you lost a game?
"I have a bad life" because you're single?
"I have a bad life" because you have a job to get money?
"I have a bad life" because you have to go to work to provide for your family?

"I have a bad life." 
Because you have an addiction that you've kept a secret. 
Because you are suicidal.
Because you were called an emo.. by your own friend..
Because your friend decided to leave when you needed them the most.
Because you were bullied by your older brother.
Because you attempted self-harm.
Because you beg to die.

Sometimes...
It's best to die.