30 Days To Fall In Love

48 Part Story 36.3K Reads 1.3K Votes
Lydia By lydiad55 Updated 17 days ago
My friends told me that if you can't get a girl to fall in love with you after 30 days, either you're hopeless or she's not the one for you. I fell in love with Emma, and decided I had to make her fall in love with me... Little did I know how much of a challenge that was going to be.
I liked your descriptions a lot. They were great. Haha, the main character seemed pretty cool to me. I'm super gullible too, so I can relate. I think the story has potential and I'm sure it will generate a lot of buzz on here.
Critique: This is a great start! Really intriguing! You've got a good set of characters here and I could clearly picture everything. 
                                    
                                    I would only say read over it again as there are some supple spelling, grammar and repetition errors.
                                    
                                    Otherwise a great start, overall grade: A
Nice story idea :P I liked it, and normally I dont like these kinds of stories..... you know, because theyre..... whatever :P keep up the good work! Voting!
As I was reading this, I can see the vivid imagery happening in my mind. The Flow of the story as well as the detailed happenings makes me want to read it all over again. Even though this is the first part of the story, I can really feel the enjoyment as I was reading this.
I like this story and I'm not joking! It is one of the best stories I've read! 
                                    
                                    I like the details you added to the beginning!
Awwww!!! He's adorable! There was no pauses in between and it gave me a clear picture of what was going on. Good job :)