Diary of an ugly kid..

Diary of an ugly kid..

1K Reads 15 Votes 5 Part Story
Hannah Hiney By SmartiePartie Updated Apr 14, 2011

Earth was left 10 years ago. Elle is an orphan, an ugly kid in a beautiful kids world. Then, Daniel appears, revealing all secrets, and wreaking havoc. Will Elle join him, her love and lust take over, or will she stop him?

Star_catcher37 Star_catcher37 Apr 14, 2011
 Same opinion as @Karsyn.
                              The first one was better. But I like the conflict between Starlie and Elle. LOVE THEIR NAMES!!!!!
                               And you spelled teacher as tacher. 
Star_catcher37 Star_catcher37 Apr 14, 2011
Like you said, it's going a bit fast but you set an interesting setting and I'm sucking it all in :) 
                               Daniel is a bit suspicious, kissing on the first meeting. But I love how you say everything in the diary entries and make it sound like she's been there forever and its just her way of life :)
Karsyn Karsyn Jan 24, 2011
Again, really good, but this chapter lost the spark the first chapter had. What happened between the chapters? It left a big hole in it, a whole bunch of background info, that I think you should spend some time filling. But still a great job! XD Let me know when you update, okay? 
Karsyn Karsyn Jan 24, 2011
Oh, my GAWD, talk about absorbing! I understood immediately what was going on and got sucked in! Excellent job here. You're a pro!