The Moments My Life Flashes Before My Eyes

The Moments My Life Flashes Before My Eyes

279 Reads 6 Votes 2 Part Story
Cam and Tess By StarryRhythm Updated Jan 23, 2011

"Damn that stupid club. Damn those stupid boys in the club. Damn my stupid friends in the club. Damn my stupid boyfriend for not coming with me to the stupid club because of the stupid medical school. Damn the stupid medical school, for gosh sakes!"
   Alli McClain wandered mindlessly outside the club, cursing her ungrateful friends and everything else under the sky that contributed to this disastrous night. She's had a little too much to drink, and doesn't realize that's she's headed into an alleyway. In a dangerous city. At night. That is definitely a recipe for disaster. Maybe it's a lucky night? Maybe no one's around to take advantage of a drunk girl? Unfortunately, on that night luck was not on her side, because little does she know that something is lurking in the shadows, waiting for an opportunity to grab clueless victims. 

Victims like Allison.

StarryRhythm StarryRhythm Jul 11, 2011
Hey guys! This was one of my first stories so please excuse me as I was new to Wattpad at the time.I know it's not the best but please don't hate on me.
FreakinPerfect FreakinPerfect Feb 04, 2011
@FairGuinevere yea i agree with you. Your story plot seems really good, but you need more synonmyns for said and break it up into more organized paragraphs. 
                              But other than that, good job. :)
FairGuinevere FairGuinevere Jan 31, 2011
yesh, that would be scary.  As a helpful hint, look up some synonyms for said, its repeated a lot, and break up the paragraghs by speaker, the huge one should be in several pieces, but the rest are really good.