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The Richmond Haunting (Editing)

The Richmond Haunting (Editing)

160K Reads 5.3K Votes 40 Part Story
Pray for Manchester By garyjarvis1976 Completed

With terror, kidnapping a family's peaceful existence, Fiona and her family cannot escape the diabolical evil that possesses their new home. 
 Each day brings in more chaos, paranormal incidents and it's growing stronger, more powerful.
 Can Fiona, get help or is too late.

PennyZee PennyZee Jul 04, 2016
Interesting chapter. There's a lot going on with packing, movers, and kids arguing.
ajdyer68 ajdyer68 Jun 17, 2016
Not a bad story, but it was a little short. There needs to be some kind of conflict. I enjoyed reading it though.
deejaybee deejaybee Mar 15, 2015
Hi big bro, as you can see I've started reading this again. I like the changes that you've made to it. The whole thing reads through a lot smoother now. Looking forward to the next chapter and I'm definitely voting. :o)
CJN2093 CJN2093 Nov 30, 2014
This is a very good first chapter! I look forward to reading more.
caelicorn caelicorn Sep 12, 2014
Very interesting, and a little creepy due to being in Fiona's head when she's overthinking things. There are two tense errors in the paragraph beginning with "overburden" that should probably be in past tense so as to be in line with the rest of the prose.
TwilightAngel88 TwilightAngel88 Aug 15, 2014
I love the edit Gary, can't wait to see what's next! Mary x x