The Abduction

The Abduction

9K Reads 86 Votes 7 Part Story
Kie By IKilledTheZombie Updated Feb 19, 2011

In the story- The Abduction, it is about a young girl, age 16, who was kidnapped by a serial killer, she is accompanied by 3 other people, Jas, Josh, And Another boy who she watched being abducted, who has forgotten his name, also. Mystery, Puzzle, Wonder. You will follow this girl as she attempts to escape from sticky situations, and follow her through the struggling journey of finding out her past. Perhaps, she has been kidnapped for a reason?

x0XjamieeX0x x0XjamieeX0x Jan 22, 2011
Wow. really interesting. But I feel like it went by a little fast. I think you could add in some things, and add transitions a little better. I like the detail though, and the story is intense. Keep writig !
                              
                              -jamiee
                              :D
A13xR5 A13xR5 Jan 16, 2011
@IKilledTheZombie I know the feeling! You're welcome, even though when I write criticism, I feel horrible for judging someone's thoughts. Keep writing though I like the feel of the story. (:
Itsyournightmare Itsyournightmare Jan 16, 2011
I like the storyline so far but if you slow it down a little it might make it better. Try putting more details. 
                              
                              P.S Your name is epic
IKilledTheZombie IKilledTheZombie Jan 16, 2011
@A13xR5 @daydreamer1977 Cheers for the suggestions, i did feel that i had written to little details, I just had too many ideas, I just wrote them to fast. But thanks anyway. :3 x
A13xR5 A13xR5 Jan 16, 2011
I also like the idea of the story, but I think it would be awesome if you slowed down and told more details, I got a little confused about what was going on, but that may be what you wanted the reader to feel. Thanks for the upload. (:
daydreamer1977 daydreamer1977 Jan 15, 2011
I like the general idea of this story, but for me I felt no connection to the character and I felt you could have fleshed it out.  I do wonder how and why he has kidnapped them.
                              
                              Sarah.