"Ella Green, 17, school freak. Not that I'm bothered by that. It actually gives me a bit of peace. I mean, Batman comics aren't gonna read themselves. Is that my intro bit done? Damn. Wait are you writing this down? No stop. I don't want this bit in it!"
"Um... Hi, I'm Brendon... Yeah. Bye... What else am I supposed to say?... Fine. I am 24 and I'm a gangleader. There, you happy?"
"AND I'M ROY!!"
"How did you even get in here?!"
Ella is walking home from school with her muffin that is definitely to blame for this entire book happening... And watches as a man is murdered by some tall guy. Instead of running, screaming and/or flying away like a normal person, she stops to say hi to the murderer. She just really likes making friends... But it all turns to shit as murderer/ Jerry/ Brendon decides the logical thing to do is kidnap his new bestie. Like any normal human.
So read on to see a magical giraffe, lots of pizza, Grant Gustin, ships that'll never sail, some guy throwing chairs, many movie references, drugged bacon, Yzma, and many other things that don't really make sense with Ella, Brendon, Roy and a load of other names that I struggle to remember sometimes. Also her raccoon, Dave. He is the God of this book. All hail Dave.
Bit cringy and crappy. First book though. Don't judge. Or judge. I'm not the boss of you.
There is also a Turkish version of this book so if you want to read that, check out the reading list on my profile titled #AllHailDave. It's in there. Or search it up.
WARNING: *nervously looks around, whispers* swear words
*sirens in distance*
*WW3 is announced on me*
That's all you need to be warned of really... there's some violence but nothing overly gross.
Cover by: KittyOnKeyboard (Check her out, her covers are AMAZING)
Highest rank: #3 in HUMOUR
^that makes me unbelievably happy