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Barn Again: A Memoir

Barn Again: A Memoir

1.5K Reads 51 Votes 57 Part Story
Alan Good By AlanGood Completed

Not the most wattpaddy work on Wattpad. In fact, I'd be happy if you said it was the least wattpaddy work on Wattpad. Barn Again: A Memoir is a historical fantasy novel set in a parallel section of the multiverse in which readers still read, agents still represent, and publishers still publish literary novels. A less facetious description continues below.

Jonathan Barnard Jr., a midlist author who achieves bestsellerdom through a habit of getting arrested on slow news days, will do anything for his daughter, even betray his artistic code by writing a Pepsi-sponsored zombie novel so he can send her to Harvard one day. Ordered by his agent to produce a memoir, Barn records the adventures and experiences he is comfortable sharing with the public: his experience in London as a banjo-plunking busker, his days as a bumbling eco-saboteur, his non-tenure-track tenure as a Dumpster-diving adjunct instructor. There's an accidental standoff with police that leads to the burning of his ex-wife's McMansion, a stint as a judge on Publish or Perish (a canceled reality show about undiscovered writers), and an aborted suicide-by-bear attempt.

There is also a low-speed bicycle chase.

If you like what you read, you could buy the book.

Barn Again: A Memoir is a work of fiction. Seriously. The characters and dialogue are inventions; the occasional appearances by real people are entirely make-believe. This is not the memoir of a real person; this is the memoir of an imagined character named Jonathan Barnard Jr., which should be obvious to most people, even if it wasn't obvious to certain literary agents who won't be named here because their names have been forgotten.

Copyright © 2016 by Alan Good

A few parts of this book have been published, in slightly different form, in online litmags.

Cover art and design by Daniel Hentschel, www.hardluckcomics.com.    


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