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A Love to Last a Lifetime - Yoosung X Reader fanfic

A Love to Last a Lifetime - Yoosung X Reader fanfic

19.5K Reads 863 Votes 14 Part Story
Nora🕊🌿 By confusedkags Completed

Basically a little romantic fiction story featuring Yoosung Kim and the Reader, Enjoy :D

SM_Studios SM_Studios Apr 19
Anyone having flashbacks to Yumemiru Taiyou?  
                              No, just me? Okay goodbye
syrupnerd syrupnerd Oct 24, 2016
@BakasDora I'll comment on certain lines that can be improved, just so it's a bit easier. But I do like the idea you have here, where we are seeing what is happening to the characters in between chat rooms, and the empty spaces in the game! ^^
-Otaku-Lover-4-Life -Otaku-Lover-4-Life Dec 14, 2016
For some reason I felt like he was screaming at me and waiting me to respond "Yep You are right! OK! Now shush!"
syrupnerd syrupnerd Oct 24, 2016
Just a bit repetitive here. I feel like you could have just let the character express that the bags are heavy just threw dialog.
syrupnerd syrupnerd Oct 24, 2016
Just the wrong 'decease' here. 'Disease' is the word your looking for. And maybe just have Yoosung say "What's happening to my face!?..." instead of stating that his cheeks are pink again. ^^
syrupnerd syrupnerd Oct 23, 2016
Great first chapter! ^^
                              I have some constructive criticism to give you, only if you want it of course ^^