A Love to Last a Lifetime - Yoosung X Reader fanfic

A Love to Last a Lifetime - Yoosung X Reader fanfic

7.3K Reads 335 Votes 14 Part Story
Dora✨ By BakasDora Updated Oct 18

Basically a little romantic fiction story featuring Yoosung Kim and the Reader, Enjoy :D

syrupnerd syrupnerd Oct 24
@BakasDora I'll comment on certain lines that can be improved, just so it's a bit easier. But I do like the idea you have here, where we are seeing what is happening to the characters in between chat rooms, and the empty spaces in the game! ^^
syrupnerd syrupnerd Oct 24
Just a bit repetitive here. I feel like you could have just let the character express that the bags are heavy just threw dialog.
syrupnerd syrupnerd Oct 24
Just the wrong 'decease' here. 'Disease' is the word your looking for. And maybe just have Yoosung say "What's happening to my face!?..." instead of stating that his cheeks are pink again. ^^
syrupnerd syrupnerd Oct 23
Great first chapter! ^^
                              I have some constructive criticism to give you, only if you want it of course ^^
CHATCAT-X CHATCAT-X Oct 02
Ded because of how many follow you but how many views you get
syrupnerd syrupnerd Oct 24
Also, you could have used just "ate" or "had" instead of putting them both in here.