Basically a little romantic fiction story featuring Yoosung Kim and the Reader, Enjoy :D
@BakasDora I'll comment on certain lines that can be improved, just so it's a bit easier. But I do like the idea you have here, where we are seeing what is happening to the characters in between chat rooms, and the empty spaces in the game! ^^
For some reason I felt like he was screaming at me and waiting me to respond "Yep You are right! OK! Now shush!"
Just a bit repetitive here. I feel like you could have just let the character express that the bags are heavy just threw dialog.
Just the wrong 'decease' here. 'Disease' is the word your looking for. And maybe just have Yoosung say "What's happening to my face!?..." instead of stating that his cheeks are pink again. ^^
Great first chapter! ^^
I have some constructive criticism to give you, only if you want it of course ^^
Ded because of how many follow you but how many views you get