Naked neighbour

Naked neighbour

55.8K Reads 1.3K Votes 25 Part Story
LucyH13 By missh13 Updated Oct 04

What happens when Emily, a 17 year old girl from North Carolina, is caught dancing half naked in her room by her insanely hot 18 year old neighbour?!

PauDickson PauDickson Sep 09
I am really enjoying his story so far. 
                              
                              Again, I think you should space the paragraphs and remember that when a character speaks the paragraphs should be divided. 
                              
                              If you need any help, I'll be more than happy to help.
                              
                              :)
Shaw mendes treat you better the most amazing song love it by the way love the story 😍😍💜💜
Haley_Ann11 Haley_Ann11 Oct 14
I have a neighbor on one side of me named Noah and on the other side is Emily lol that's great.
ImSoWaveyy ImSoWaveyy Oct 08
Does anyone relise that the people on the book cover look like their 13?
PauDickson PauDickson Sep 09
If I could suggest one thing it would be to show, don't tell. Do not tell the reader that Emily is 17 instead maybe have someone call out her name and then later on tell us how old she is. 
                              
                              Also, cut the paragraph a little. It was a bit too long. 
                              
                              You could even start the chapter with her dancing.
Kyia_23 Kyia_23 Oct 09
jesus is this whole book written like this i mean its called an "enter bar"......