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Naked neighbour

Naked neighbour

72.2K Reads 2K Votes 25 Part Story
LucyH136 By misslucy6 Updated Oct 04, 2016

What happens when Emily, a 17 year old girl from North Carolina, is caught dancing half naked in her room by her insanely hot 18 year old neighbour?!

PauDickson PauDickson Sep 09, 2016
I am really enjoying his story so far. 
                              
                              Again, I think you should space the paragraphs and remember that when a character speaks the paragraphs should be divided. 
                              
                              If you need any help, I'll be more than happy to help.
                              
                              :)
I know someone named Noah, and he is just like this guy in the story
SognatoreMZt SognatoreMZt Nov 22, 2016
Shaw mendes treat you better the most amazing song love it by the way love the story 😍😍💜💜
Haley_Ann11 Haley_Ann11 Oct 14, 2016
I have a neighbor on one side of me named Noah and on the other side is Emily lol that's great.
ImSoWaveyy ImSoWaveyy Oct 08, 2016
Does anyone relise that the people on the book cover look like their 13?
PauDickson PauDickson Sep 09, 2016
If I could suggest one thing it would be to show, don't tell. Do not tell the reader that Emily is 17 instead maybe have someone call out her name and then later on tell us how old she is. 
                              
                              Also, cut the paragraph a little. It was a bit too long. 
                              
                              You could even start the chapter with her dancing.