Finding the Unfathomable
Hi, I'm Zoe. I don't really know how to do this without being blunt. My doctor told me to write this journal out, to help my recovery. I guess I've never really thought about recovery. It always seemed so far away when I was having my surgeries, or when I went into a coma, three times. The first time I was hospitalized no one knew what was going on with me. My lungs hurt so much, it felt like I was drowning in myself. I could feel the liquid in my lungs through the pain.
Later after a couple cat scans and xrays, they discovered I have multiple tumors in my lungs which let's water into my lungs. I have large cell neuroendocrine carcinoma (LCNEC) and it is apparently a rare cancer. What is even more rare is that it is atypical. So in English I have a rare cancer that is fast growing and can spread to other organs. So in reality I actually do drown sometimes, or feel as if I do when the cancer restricts my lungs.
I apparently also have depression, anorexia, and major anxiety. But until this can be proven to me and just not by what some shrink says, I say I'm just a complete ass wipe who needs to get her priorities straight.