Written in Blood

Written in Blood

2.3K Reads 242 Votes 32 Part Story
neonloop By neonloop Updated Nov 22

I didn't want this. I never wanted my power. I never wanted to be hated by society because of it. And I sure as hell did not want to be captured by the King. But when a rebellion to bring down the King emerged in our troubled country, I was captured and forced to use my ability to destroy the rebellion. I train with others of my kind to become the force that takes down the rebellion. But my past catches up to me and I don't know if I can break out of its hold.
I have a chance to destroy the rebellion that is made up of the society that hates me, but if I do I might lose my last bit of sanity and morals. Though I barely had either of those to start with.
I feel like my mind and my heart are pulling me in different directions and I know soon, that I will snap.

So this story started out as an assignment for English class and I sorta went overboard.  But yeah! Please give me feedback and add it to ur library so you'll get notifications of when I update! Hope you enjoy!  -Author

Oh is your character a girl? Weird, I assumed that they were a boy
My suggestion for this chapter is that you pay extra attention to some of the areas where commas should be! Looks really good
neonloop neonloop Sep 30
Aaaw! Thank you! I'm glad you enjoy it!! 😄And also thank you for the feedback!!
This might have more impact if you describe where they are pointing exactly. Maybe his face? Maybe his heart? Just an idea to chew on
Overall, this was a phenomenal chapter. It was great that you started right into the action and did not dump a whole lot of info or backstory. The pacing was superb and your dialogue was nice and natural.
This girl and fire. I love her! Also super cocky is great too.