Her Art And His Paper Heart

Her Art And His Paper Heart

3.6K Reads 772 Votes 20 Part Story
Excuse-My-Emotions By Excuse-My-Emotions Updated 3 days ago

3 years, 4 months and 18 days ago, Reece's youtube video skyrocketed with thirty million views. Ironically enough, it was a song dedicated to a girl who was no longer his. Forced to finish high school, the name Reece Zynner faded into the shadows with nothing left to cause havoc. 
  
3 years, 1 month and 6 days ago, a devastating car crash left Reece in shambles.
  
2 years, 2 months and 2 days ago, Reece wrote his first song since the accident. Ten more came after with his shattered remains at the heart of each lyric.
  
2 years, 5 months and 1 day ago, Reece became a heartthrob who could no longer feel his own.
  
Now, discovering his career was plummeting to the ground, Reece is forced to enter a relationship with the 'Angel' of Hurricane Records: McKenna Ellis.
  
Forced to fake date; they impact each others lives in the most inconvenient way possible. But in between the quick jabs and fake kisses, they begin to find each other.
  
 3 years, 4 months and 19 days after the accident, Reece began picking up his pieces.

RElizabethM RElizabethM 6 days ago
The action here near the words makes it seem like your MC spoke again, but I think it's McKenna. You may want to rearrange here.
RElizabethM RElizabethM 6 days ago
Would avoid the repetition of "reached" in such quick succession.
Awesome chap, seriously loved it. McKenna seems pretty cool to me. The one major issue I found was that if this is Reece's POV, then you might need to add some inner thoughts of Reece. That way your chapter length will increase and at the same time it'll be more fun to read,
RElizabethM RElizabethM 6 days ago
I think the period between "music" and "anybody" should be in a different place. I would either make the "That's the great thing about music" a standalone simple sentence or I would join it with the "anybody" sentence and separate it from the Vietnam War sentence.  #readbookclub
megs328 megs328 Nov 10
First off, I love the graphic. I am obsessed with Halsey. I love that the main character is a male lead. He has an awesome personality so far. I loved the banter between him and his manger. Can't wait to see where this fake realationship goes. Reece and McKenna sounds nice together.
RElizabethM RElizabethM 6 days ago
The storm wasn't far after - I know what you're trying to convey here, but I'm not sure this line is worded for maximum impact.