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May | ON HOLD

May | ON HOLD

3.9K Reads 825 Votes 7 Part Story
Paula By PauDickson Updated Mar 01

Now a high school senior, seventeen-year-old May House has one goal in mind before starting college: to lose her virginity. With only three hundred and sixty-five days left to fulfill her goal, she decides to make a deal with Brandon Oliver, the school's bad boy. Blinded by her caprice, May is unable to see the signs and when she and Brandon are faced with an unforeseen revelation, May soon finds out that not everything is as it seems.

→ | updates on-hold |
→ | cover by @catalysed |

NiaAntonia NiaAntonia Feb 09
My stomach hurts reading about this!! That description though 😍
I think you can remove the comma in "as another excrutiating twinge, cramps my insides". And wonderful detail!
NO IT WASN'T PERIOD CRAMPS DID SHE JUST HAVE A . . . I HAD A MIND BLANK WHAT IS IT AGAIN????
                              
                              BUT HER BABY, GODDAMNIT NO.
Great build of tension! I love your way of describing things and your use a metaphors. You have a great way of grabbing a readers attention! Keep it up :)
yhlikeicarE yhlikeicarE Feb 09
Honestly, this prologue caught my attention! It's really interesting .
In the last sentence should be split into two sentences, breaking off after "from the pain" for the first sentence then the second one starts with "I bow my head".
                              Fantastic intro! Your writing has improved so wonderfully! I can't wait to read the incoming chapters!