Pretty, Popular and Partnered

“Every girl wants to be pretty, popular and partnered.”

I, Poppy Lake, need help.

I seem incapable of functioning like a normal teenage girl; I’m not pretty, popular and I’ve never so much as held a boy’s hand let alone had a boyfriend. Wherever girls learn how to do this stuff, I need to find out. Do they have some secret society or something where they discover these skills? I’m thirteen and I hardly know how make friends.

Funnily enough, that’s almost the least of my worries. My hair has not grown at all in the last two months and the little hair I have is frizzy and dull. I can’t wake up without it looking like a puffball and my attempts to grow it out have failed. The flakes of dry skin on my legs were bugging me so I tried to scrap them off but they were everywhere and rubbing my hand up and down my shin only revealed I needed to shave my legs. At some point, my thighs and tummy had expanded without me noticing (although how I missed that I don’t know) and now I looked like an elephant. Unfortunately, my ears support this look by being perpendicular to my head.

I pulled my trousers back down and caught sight of at least another ten spots emerging on my forehead, chin and neck. I’ve tried squeezing them, putting toothpaste on them and even skipping chocolate for two weeks, but spots remain stubbornly there whatever I do. Why does my body feel the need to punish me so much?

I threw myself on my bed so I wouldn’t have to look at my horrible, imperfect face in the mirror any more. “Urgh,” I moaned into the covers. There was a lot going wrong in my life:

1. My face is hideous;
2. I’m fat;
3. None of the clothes I own are remotely stylish;
4. I have never been asked out;
5. The most popular girl at school hates me;
6. And I fancy her boyfriend.

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Based off How To Be Popular by Meg Cabot, the story follows Poppy, a young girl in a situation similar to Steph's who gets personal advice from the mentor herself.