A MESS CALLED YOU!

A MESS CALLED YOU!

137 Reads 1 Vote 1 Part Story
prisca-08 By prisca-08 Completed

yawane is a charming  teen girl thats eager to please. she lives in a shaby naorhood. scared of loseing her life to the gangs and mishift that sourronds her, she mostly daydreams about better days, not really  haveing anybody to give her advice, except her mother that only hope for her  dauther is to land a rich husband, she raches out to her friends that dont allways want the best for her. Thinking that her life is at a stand still and thire no hope for change, she meets a young handson gentalman that changes her life,and draws things out of her that she did not evan know that was thire.. but to her surpise every change is not for the better,..beautiful yawane has to find out for herslef that everybody can not be trusted and that the old saying  might be correct you cant get to the rainbow with out a little bit of rain...or can you?

roadtrippp19 roadtrippp19 Jan 04, 2011
It was pretty gud,I just had a hard time getting into the story because of the spelling and grammar errors,it didn't feel very professional. But after you fix those it will be really good!
prisca-08 prisca-08 Jan 02, 2011
thanks for all da help so far...o and no iam nt finished, my computer broke and is leaveing unable to uploade any more..but i PROMISE by wensday ill have more!!.
chaterboxxx chaterboxxx Dec 30, 2010
This is good. The only thing is spelling. Other than that I like how I was able to get to know yawane right away
folgates folgates Dec 30, 2010
Haha! I loves the whole "Died on my way to get a snicker." That was funny. I'd Say the only thing you have to work on is Capitilization, and grammer, and you'd be good :) your description and humor is definatly their! :)