A teenage love story never seemed this real.
@equinelover909 thanks for commenting AND voting :) i'm working on fixing their language for four year olds and the grammar errors also.
@trishthewriter thanks for commenting and i'll try to fix the dialogue. when i was writing this i forgot to start new lines when someone was speaking, but i'm glad you understood what i was trying to say :)
@Unlucky13 thanks for commenting and i'll remember the tip about the adjectives when i go to edit it.
@tianajade thanks for commenting and i haven't had a chance to change the dialogue yet because others have noticed they don't speak like four year olds too.
@tianajade @Unlucky13 @trishthewriter @equinelover909 thanks for commenting and the advice is much appreciated! i have a question though because all for of you said the same thing (i think) ... how is to the story moving to fast? like the first 6 parts or this one part in general?
You've got talent, but you're story's a bit hard to follow with the mash up of dialogue. You might want to be careful of that. And tianajade is right about the dialogue, but I see what you're going for.