BECOMING MRS BUGAJE
Maryam was afraid of how he made her feel. The reality of her circumstances. She had never been this emotionally raw, weak as she was with Mubarak, she physically felt safe in his presence. She had never felt safe in the presence of a man like she did with him.
That was not on her agenda. She wasn't supposed to be feeling all the things she felt now, but they were there. That was the last thing she wanted.
She could sense his resistance, she had never seen a man so intent on not liking her as he. The rest just ignored her, him? He saw her but it felt as if he didn't want to.
And here she was all intent on Becoming Mrs Bugaje.
What would he say to Maryam? This would devastate her beyond all measures. His hands travelled to hold his nape, squeezing the thick muscle there, he had never felt so worthless all his life like he did now.
A graceful light-eyed girl who brightened a crowd with her mere presence, a girl with the heart of gold, his young gazelle.
He had her right where he wanted, loving him like no other, despite him being reckless, nonchalant, a liar by omission and a rogue she still loved him whole. Her love made him so full that despite giving her his all he was still left with excess from her. This was the woman he would inevitably lose because of his recklessness. She would face the pain.
A pain of Becoming Mrs Bugaje.
He had vowed to protect her from herself. Yet he had pushed her over. He had vowed to make her see what people had done to her, she taught him forgiveness. Under all that crazy bubbly mouthiness, was his angelic queen, compassionate, loving- a jewel. Yet he ruined her.
Now her ruin was his ruin, he had carried his pain long, hard and deep in his heart. She was a pain he was willing to live through life with. Her voice what he lived for. Her smile his home.