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KiingeBee • One Thing Leads to Another (COMPLETED) *Book One*

KiingeBee • One Thing Leads to Another (COMPLETED) *Book One*

5.2K Reads 203 Votes 37 Part Story
julienneofficial By julienneofficial Completed

Will and Bee are average YouTubers. They have always liked each other and so on. They meet for the first time at the Cube house. What happens at the Cube house?

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Leverance Leverance Mar 21
 #TNLbookclub
                              
                              Trust the reader when it comes to this, for example using a thought or description to indicate he is recalling something.
Leverance Leverance Mar 21
 #TNLbookclub
                              
                              It's more professional to have just character name here. This is more a style of writing, though.
Leverance Leverance Mar 21
 #TNLboolclub 
                              
                              I agree with @Spruce_Goose. However there wasn't that many mistakes so it's a start!
Leverance Leverance Mar 21
 #TNLbookclub
                              
                              You are jumping POVs too quickly here, when changing POV, do it in a new chapter or else it disrupts the reading and flow also it isn't always needed. I would refrain from doing this.
Leverance Leverance Mar 21
 #TNLbookclub 
                              
                              You already used lots of I's in this paragraph, you also could describe more what they were vlogging about. The sentences are somewhat repeating.
AsteckMC AsteckMC Aug 05, 2016
Love this book it awesome I can't wait till the next chapter👍🏾👍🏾😍