Descendant (divergent an fiction)

Descendant (divergent an fiction)

5.2K Reads 429 Votes 61 Part Story
justdarcy By justdarcy Completed

*Warning for spoilers of any of the books*


After the war, Tris is still dead but what if she had a daughter first? And left Tobias as a single father? Well this is about Harper Nicole Eaton. I also am bringing Uriah back and if someone is supposed to be dead- and is in my book- I just brought them back but itll be mostly about their kids. Will, Al, and Marlene are dead. 

After Tris's death, Tobias takes Harper back to Chicago but the rules have been far stretched. They kept the factions for those who still believed but now the gate has been permanently open. 

Tobias is the usual protective dad because Harper is all he has and all he has to love anymore. And Harper looking exactly like Tris, and acting exactly like her seems like a piece of her is still with him.

SOME CHARACTERS BELONG TO VERONICA ROTH

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Divergent takes place in future America, and in America people say ‘mom’, not ‘mum’
She* and Uriah. Her is always in the predicate, not the subject
Don’t forget the importance of commas and underusing/overusing them
In dialogue, if you put he/she says after the sentence, you put a comma, not a period.
Overall this is a pretty good first chapter. You introduced main characters and showed a good bit of parallel between Tris and Harper. The only little problems I saw were grammar, but that can be fixed easily with editing and practice. Good job!
-januaryembers -januaryembers Jan 13, 2017
Feedback: I really like this chapter. There are a few grammar mistakes here and there but overall very clean writing. I'm looking forward to reading the next chapter