Snow & Summer

Snow & Summer

4K Reads 65 Votes 38 Part Story
Nicole Gelinas By Pretygirl97 Completed

By: Pretygirl97 a.k.a. Nicole Gelinas & Rockinriri a.k.a. Mariah Henick,
This Book is about two different lives and how they live. They are both wealthy and famous and they have the best lives. Jason & Bella get a taste of life by going to her moms house. Birth, News, and Lies.

Pretygirl97 Pretygirl97 Feb 04, 2011
Sorry about that, this is not my part of the story this is Rockinriri's we did this story together.
steph612 steph612 Jan 03, 2011
this is a great start but I noticed that in the first few paragraphs, you change from third to first person i.e the very first piece of dialogue. This is nice though! :) 
xxKARMAxx xxKARMAxx Jan 02, 2011
A few minor spelling errors as well as wrong word usage. The sentences seemed a little choppy. Also, punctuation is missing in some places. Finally, the Ferrari is an Italian sports car, not a California sports car.
                              
                              xx
marabelli marabelli Jan 02, 2011
This beginning is pretty well written, though i think this went a bit fast. Maybe if you write a bit more of a description as to how she got pregnant. You could have done a p.o.v for melissa as to how she feels about her pregnancy. But i think you did a pretty good job. Voted :)
folgates folgates Dec 30, 2010
This chapter is pretty short. Give the readers more! :D Also some of the captilization was off. Make sure to always proofread
                              *Voted*
folgates folgates Dec 30, 2010
I like how you described her hair being tamed into a pony tail. It was a very creative way to put it :) I'm guessing pregancy!!! :)
                              *Voted*