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Not Another Hero Story

Not Another Hero Story

1.2K Reads 5 Votes 17 Part Story
Crysta Jaquelynn Valentino By iScareBear Updated Jun 07, 2014

Elizabeth Rose Salin is not your everyday girl, but she's not exceptionally special either. The only exceptional bit about her is her creaky body, mild clumsiness, and her fiery way of speaking.  She's an orphan who has been sent to stay at a psych ward after escaping from every foster home she has been to, granted she was captured each and every time but a girl can only hope right? When she was 14 she started seeing and hearing things... Her dead mother's fears came back to her. Her worries increase. She tries to accept the hospital's help but things only got worse for her so she decides she has to get out. This is where her story truly begins, but could it also be her end? We join little Lizzy in her story of escape, capture, upheaval, discovery, and heartbreak....

rynthae rynthae Jan 24, 2014
CLIFFHANGER! I loved the use of voice in this chapter to help round out Lizzy, though, and I adore the way that you spell out the pronunciation of words and include noises that give a better feel for her personality: "Gawd", "Oi", and "bloody" were a few that I noticed.
rynthae rynthae Jan 24, 2014
It looks like this is off to a good start! I can't help but wonder what led to Lizzy's multiple escape attempts from a psych ward, and I have the nagging suspicion that there is more reality to her madness than meets the eye....
MorganKnox MorganKnox Dec 21, 2010
Oh no you didn't... a cliffy?!?! lol I would suggest going a little milder with the language because once some readers see those words they stop reading. I think I may have spotted a typo but maybe not... other than that its great! Upload soon =)
MorganKnox MorganKnox Dec 21, 2010
It's a good start, kinda short but it's got me interested which is a good thing! I like your writing style a lot so keep on writing! Don't worry more people will read it soon, I have the same problem... So I'll help you out and give you your first comment and vote ;)
iAdorable iAdorable Dec 21, 2010
o.o wowow your writing style is really good!!!!! waiting for more, you left it as a cliffhanger!! :( I wanna know whose green eyes they belong to :D