Human Elimination

Human Elimination

13.2K Reads 210 Votes 10 Part Story
TheEscapist By TheEscapist Updated Oct 22, 2011

Arianna Zontini is the first woman to become pregnant in eighteen years. Due to this she and her husband become fugitives, running from the government, the scientists and the unknown threat that forever lurks by their side. However, the world has yet to discover that human infertility is not the most dangerous threat that hangs above them.

TheEscapist TheEscapist Oct 28, 2011
@mi_estrella I know, I think my writing is pretty obscure. I have to work on that. I'm thinking f re-writing this, making it a lot better. But thanks so much for taking the time to reading :)
mi_estrella mi_estrella Oct 28, 2011
The story line seems promising, but I think if you would improve your choice of words, it would be so much better. Good job though. I'll keep reading it. :)
99Imperfections 99Imperfections May 17, 2011
The second paragraph doesnt quiet fit, if it were me, i would re-arrange the first few sentences, or take out the ' her eyes flew open'. 
                              
                              But otherwise, its a pretty good start, and ill read the rest of it when i get back. :)
TheEscapist TheEscapist Apr 16, 2011
@MoonLighter Well thanks...I know there's similarities to famous pieces of literature but I'm trying my best to make it original :)
daydreamer1977 daydreamer1977 Apr 13, 2011
Very good opening, no errors, the story moved along at a good pace.
                              
                              It held my interest to the beginning to the end.
                              
                              Sarah.
Dreaming_Love Dreaming_Love Apr 05, 2011
Finally had time to read! :)
                              Let me just say...this is really good. Very intriguing :)