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* You Are Filled With Intimacy!

* You Are Filled With Intimacy!

26.2K Reads 436 Votes 14 Part Story
theworthypotat0 By theworthypotat0 Updated Apr 21

Charisk.. Very Intimate Charisk... Maybe Some Sad Parts.. Shhh

* Is done reading this part.. falls over with nose bleeding but is also laughing * YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SOOOO MUCH SIN >/////////////////////<
Jyth_Mivena Jyth_Mivena May 02
Probably listening to his theme, eh?
                              He's a douche ain't he?
For some reason I thought I was asgore this entire time 😂
Jyth_Mivena Jyth_Mivena May 02
This comma is unnecesary, I noticed more previously, after " or ' you don't need anything (besides a new line of text.)
                              Only before the second do you need a dot, question mark or exclamation mark.
Chara pov: Frisk! Azzys right there!!
                              Frisk: no legit. Gimme your pie. Im still hungry
Jyth_Mivena Jyth_Mivena May 02
Your writing is a 8/9
                              You only don't know where commas go and sometimes make too large or too small paragraphs.
                              
                              Improve on this and become a great writer!