The Hunt #Wattys2016 #StarWritingAwardsEntry

The Hunt #Wattys2016 #StarWritingAwardsEntry

1.7K Reads 326 Votes 15 Part Story
Lauren M. By TenYearOdyssey Updated Oct 10

The nightmares about the wolves of the forest surrounding the the small town of Pine Gulf, Texas started the first night Natalia Ramos moved into her new home. As if lack of sleep wasn't enough of an issue, Natalia finds herself caught in the middle of a nasty break-up between track star Bridget Stuhl and football captain Mason Stenburg. To make matters worse a string of increasingly grisly and mysterious burglaries begin to plague the town. 
  
  As paranoia builds Natalia embarks on a journey to solve the mysterious crime spree before the suspicions of the small East Texas town crack open the carefully guarded secrets held by Natalia and her mother. Will Natalia be able to protect her own supernatural secrets as she slowly unveils those surrounding the town and it's prime citizens? Will she be able to unmask the figure behind the burglaries before they turn fatal, or will she become a casualty in the crossfire as secrets and history collide?
  
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  *Incomplete and unedited, beware of the cliches. Editing will begin upon completion.
  The beautiful cover is made by the wonderful @Laia233

This chapter was absolutely great for the first chapter! It explained a lot of things, and the way it did was absolutely amazing! Though, I do feel somewhat sad for Natalia...
lynoone lynoone Dec 01
Amazing descriptions! I could feel Natalia's feeling of hopelessness at the start of the chapter. And yessss, Hispanic. I love how you mixed things up a bit. All in all, a good first chapter :D
Not to be pedantic or anything (I just want to help with grammar), but you don't actually need the apostrophe in pandas, as it isn't a contraction or possessive. :)
It should be 'a sob ripped its way' not 'a sob ripped it's way' because 'its' is when 'it' owns something according to official grammary terms and 'it's' stands for 'it is' just wanted to let you know but it's not a big deal I just noticed it
The beginning is amazing! I like the sense of mystery and suspense throughout the chapter,which is good! I really love the descriptions in the story,and I love the friendship between Natalie and Candace,I think that Natalie should tell her mom about the nightmares.
Lovely beginning, Natalia's is already showing signs of rich character depth. I find it really hard to discover good stories with stunning descriptions (I'm a sucker for descriptions). I look forward to reading more 💕 amazing work