A young boy discovers his amazing ability, the power to absorb objects into his body. Now, five years after running away from all he knows, he must run once again to save a girl from those who wish to use her for their own purposes.
This is really amazing! The ending was great and I will definitely read on! I love the way you describe the coughing up of the person, and I love the idea! Nice job!
I really like this! Oh, but near the end of it, when the boy is throwing up, you put:
...and a tiny bit of yellow stuff. then a....
Did you mean, yellow stuff, then a? This is really good, I like how you write. You have a natural talent for it! Keep up the good writing!
This is a very nice beginning. I was hooked from the beginning, great job. Stick to this because you are a natural
Wow..I loved the creaky ending!! It was very different yet in a good way. Your grammar and puntuction was very on point and sharp while your description was well. I loved how everything flowed together to make the grand cliffhanger...
That's really really cool. I like the way he speaks and love the way he manages things. The idea is creative and awesome. I especially love the cliffhanger. Very interesting. That's pretty intense there.
Wow :D This is such an interesting plot...and to add to it you're writing is amazing too. Love how you didn't use direct speech in here, it makes your writing style orignial and refreshing :)